Sussex Med 3-3 Hassocks Fatboys
Sussex Sunday League Division Five
Sunday 21st October 2012
East Brighton Park
On a crazy morning of football at East Brighton Park, substitute Chris Martin scored twice in the final 10 minutes as Hassocks Fatboys rallied from 3-1 down to snatch a 3-3 draw with Sussex Med. The result lifted Daniel Lawrence’s side into the dizzy heights of second in the Sussex Sunday League Division Five table.
The Fatboys made just one change from the previous week’s excellent 2-0 win away at Athletic Worthing. Rhys Kearvill had celebrated his 18th birthday on Saturday night with a party, meaning that he was unavailable as he had to clean his mum’s house. Lawrence promoted himself to the starting line up in place of Kearvill, the player manager making his second start of the season on the left wing with Rob Lloyd switching to the right.
Stuart Hunter had been due to return after missing the victory in Worthing with a virus picked up when the bank he was standing on while night fishing collapsed from under him, sending him sprawling into the lake. Hunter withdrew for the second week running however with a suspiciously early text, this time claiming that his sister had arrived unexpectedly at his house in Burgess Hill on an unannounced visit from Newcastle. At 2.38am on a Sunday morning.
On arrival at East Brighton Park, the pitch looked in excellent condition. It appeared to be a lush shade of green and well maintained, a far cry from the previous week’s surface at Goring Recreation Ground which had grass so long it resembled a forest. The Fatboys began the game by attempting to play passing football, but just as with most Pulse women who appear great after 10 pints of Heineken only to turn out to be complete animals the following morning, looks can be deceiving.
That was certainly the case when it came to the pitch. After just five minutes, it had transformed from resembling a snooker table to something out of the Battle of the Somme. Mud was flying and so were bodies. Knocking the ball around would be fraught with even more danger than it normally is and so the Fatboys resorted in smashing the ball up to Phil Standen who was defying all known medical logic by playing for a second Sunday in succession.
Despite the conditions making things difficult, the first half was an exciting affair. We knew little about Sussex Med before the game, other than the rumour that they were a team made up of trainee doctors. Presumably this had been started by somebody who had seen the term ‘Med’ in their name, assumed it was short for medicine and put two and two together to come up with 28.
Speaking of 28, that was the minute in which the Fatboys opened the scoring. Lawrence gained possession on the left to find Dave Standing, whose run into the heart of the Med defence caused panic and worry. Standing eventually fed the ball to Lloyd who cut inside and hit an excellent shot across the goalkeeper and inside the far post.
Going behind was a little harsh on Med as they had actually been the better side in the opening exchanges. Jason Gander had shown a frightening turn of pace to acrobatically clear off the line with Scott McCarthy beaten and it took a number of excellent blocks from Andy Rumble and Richard Coleman to keep the hosts out.
The Fatboys lead was short lived as Med levelled things up within 10 minutes. Gander’s assessment 30 seconds earlier of “I really need some studs” proved to be very prophetic as he duly slipped over like a granny on ice, presenting a one-on-one opportunity which was duly buried by the forward.
What followed was a superb set of celebrations as the entire Med team swarmed towards their overexcited striker who had gone sprinted off as if this was the winning goal in the last minute of the World Cup Final. If they were that excited about scoring an equaliser in Sussex Sunday League Division Five, one can only imagine how they celebrate a successful operation back at medical school.
That goal and the passionate scenes that followed knocked the Fatboys off their stride slightly and Med were only denied the lead by a full stretch fingertip save from McCarthy on the stroke of half time. The second half began in similar vein with Rumble and Matt Martindale both hacking off the line. A goal was very clearly coming and it duly arrived via a wicked deflection to spark more jubilation among the Med contingent.
Lawrence turned to his bench at this point, introducing Martin for the tiring Standen. Martin’s first task was to watch the Fatboys fall 3-1 behind as nobody tracked a midfield runner who found himself with plenty of time and space to pick up the top corner of McCarthy’s goal.
It was the wake up call that the visitors needed. Standing hit a post with a superb strike after ghosting inside before Med seemed to forget the rules of football in a spectacular five minute period. Firstly, a defender decided to catch the ball in the middle of the pitch when he had could have quite easily won a free header. The referee was so taken aback by this bizarre decision that he forgot to yellow card the Med player in question for a handball so blatant it would have been classed as travelling in basketball.
When the referee then blew his whistle for Martindale to take the resulting free kick, the same player sprinted from the wall to charge down the kick before Martindale had even embarked on his run up. It was a carbon copy of Zaire v Brazil from the 1974 World Cup and while the Fatboys fell around laughing at what was going, the confused Med player was receiving a booking for his troubles. He isn’t the one you want to have performing open heart surgery on you.
Martindale was eventually allowed to deliver the free kick without infringement and it nearly led to a goal, Standing being mere millimetres away from connecting with a bullet header. Med didn’t look convincing dealing with set pieces and it was no surprise that Martin’s two late goals came from such situations.
His first was a real poachers effort, following up after the goalkeeper had spilled Standing’s testing free kick. That left the Fatboys 11 minutes to find a equaliser and they did so with 120 seconds remaining, Martindale’s delivery into the box sparking a goalmouth scramble in which Martin somehow managed to head home.
Hassocks Fatboys (4-4-2)
Scott McCarthy
One good save right on the stroke of half time. Owes his defenders a Magners or three after a number of last ditch goal line clearances.
Matt Martindale
Responsible for one of those clearances. Those who tried to ban him from taking set pieces continue to look very silly as once again, his deliveries caused panic.
Andy Rumble
Loved the conditions and the opportunities they gave for him to slide around in the mud. Hacked one off the line.
Jason Gander
At fault for the first Med goal when slipping but it says much about the rest of his performance that he was still a comfortable man-of-the-match winner.
Richard Coleman
A number of excellent tackles at left back and supported the attack well. Looks to be a real find.
Rob Lloyd
Asked to play on the right wing this week after his shift on the left against Athletic Worthing. Scored an excellent first half goal when drifting inside.
Mark Potter
An astonishing hard working performance in the middle of the park in which he covered every blade of grass. Not that there was much grass left by the end.
Stuart Ridley
An out-of-sorts morning for the midfielder. Still managed to provide an attacking threat on occasions.
Daniel Lawrence
His first start since September after struggling with injury. Played a part in the first goal and fave a good account of himself on his favoured left side.
Phil Standen
Given the conditions, his ability to hold the ball up and bring others into play was crucial in the first half.
Dave Standing
Unlucky not to score when he rattled the woodwork and tested the Med goalkeeper on several other occasions. A real menace in attack.
Subs
Chris Martin
Two goals from the bench was an excellent return for the striker, who was almost single handedly responsible for rescuing a point.
Kevin Ward
Unused.
Goals
20′ Lloyd, assist Standing
79′ Martin, assist Standing
88′ Martin, assist Martindale
Man-of-the-Match
Tough call between Mark Potter who was everywhere and the two centre backs. It just goes to Jason Gander who was unbeatable for the 89 minutes and 50 seconds that he didn’t spend lying on his back in the mud.