Hassocks Fatboys 3-2 Sussex Med
Sussex Sunday League Division Five
Sunday 25th November 2012
Waterhall
Two of Hassocks Fatboys’ more intelligent players had contrasting mornings as Sussex Med were beaten 3-2 at Waterhall. Rob Lloyd banked two of the goals and the man-of-the-match accolade. Matt Martindale meanwhile stormed off at the final whistle before asking if his team had gone mad for congratulating each other on a draw. No Matt, we won.
Only just, mind you. Most of the Fatboys squad had been praying that the monsoon-like weather of the past week would result in the game being off. It wasn’t. On arrival at Waterhall, there were around 200 seagulls gathered on Pitch 8 which led to somebody (Jason Gander) to suggest that the game might be off due to a dead body on the pitch. Quite what Gander is reading to think that seagulls feast on human corpses remains a mystery and so no, the match wasn’t postponed for that reason either.
The pitch was actually in excellent condition. A combination of long grass and a 100mph wind had soaked up and dried out the surface and once Hayley Elphick and Morwenna Bunt had chased away all the seagulls, it was game on.
For the first time since the opening day of the season, the Fatboys were able to name five men on the bench with a full compliment of John Kearvill, Jason Pennicard, Stuart Ridley, Richard Coleman and Gander all raring for action. Maybe not Gander actually, who had turned up having had no sleep and still quite drunk after pulling in Oceana the night before. For the avoidance of any doubt, it was a woman he pulled rather than his hamstring.
The last thing Gander wanted was to be called into action early on which predictably is exactly what happened. Ron Pennicard pulled something of his own (groin, as opposed to woman) after just 20 minutes of his first start since September, which saw Gander join Andy Rumble at the heart of the Fatboys defence. To be fair to Gander, he played his part in a battling second half performance defending the significant wind. Rumble and Chris Stacey were the standouts, both pushing brace-scoring Lloyd close for the star man award.
Kicking with the hurricane in the first half, the Fatboys knew it would be important to try and build a lead which they could defend when Med had the gale in their favour. That plan suffered a bit of a setback when Med took the lead with 15 minutes played. Scott McCarthy pulled off an excellent double save but it all proved to be in vein as a shanked delivery from the resulting corner dropped at the front post where an unmarked runner had the easiest job in the world of volleying home.
Not the start that the home team wanted. And it nearly got worse within seconds of the restart as the Fatboys surrendered possession, Med broke and a cross from the left flank was whipped against the crossbar by the wind with McCarthy completely flummoxed.
The Fatboys finally mustered their first shot on target on 25 minutes when Dave Standing found Lloyd who fired into the bottom corner for 1-1. A second shot on target arrived six minutes later and that too beat the Med goalkeeper. It was a classic route one goal as McCarthy heaved a huge kick 80 yards down the pitch for Standing to latch onto and lob over the advancing Med goalkeeper. Two shots on target, two goals. The Fatboys were clearly in a clinical mood, making it even more remarkable that Martindale managed to forget a goal.
There were first half bookings for both Rumble and Stacey after a couple of tackles that will feature on Crimewatch next week. A Med defender joined them in the book when he decided that the most effective way to stop Chris Martin having a clear run at goal was to fall over his own leg and take Martin out in the process. It was the most unintentional last man tackle you will ever see.
By the start of the second half, the middle of the pitch was beginning to churn up like a World War I battleground. Having seen Med struggle to get the ball more than five yards forward in the air because of the wind, it became apparent that if the Fatboys were to hold on and win the game, they would need to play their football out wide. Martindale and Rhys Kearvill on the right and Martyn Buxton and Lloyd on the left were in for a busy 45 minutes.
Just as Med had done kicking into the wind in the first half, it was the Fatboys who opened the scoring in the second. Martin looked to his left and fed Lloyd with the perfect through ball and Lloyd did the rest, applying another neat finish to make it 3-1. Or 2-1 if your surname is Martindale.
There was still a long way to go, 35 minutes to be exact. It wasn’t long before a 3-1 lead became 3-2 either – or in Martindale’s eyes, 2-2 – as Med pulled one back. In the biggest shock since Will Young came out, it arrived once again from a corner. This time the ball wasn’t cleared and a free shot was awarded with the result being a shot fired into the roof of the net.
Martin’s morning’s work was done at that point as he made way for Ridley, Daniel Lawrence deciding to sacrifice a forward for a central midfielder and switch to 4-5-1 in a bid to shut up shop. It was good to see Ridley back in action, his availability coming about this week because he couldn’t see his girlfriend who had a Geography project she had to finish for Monday.
Ridley’s introduction had a strange impact on Rumble who went completely insane in an incredible five minute period. He began it by making four world class tackles in the space of 120 seconds before cynically hacking down a Med striker to spark a 21 man brawl. While every other player on the pitch piled in including the two goalkeepers, Rumble slunk away from the melee with a massive grin plastered across his face. In all the commotion, he somehow got away without a booking too, which was just as well as it would have been his second of the morning.
The Fatboys had chances to wrap the game up in the closing stages. Kearvill delivered a wonderful cross to Lloyd at the back post but Lloyd couldn’t quite convert for what would have been his first ever hat-trick. Substitute Richard Coleman then showed fantastic footwork to dance around the Med goalkeeper to give himself an open goal, only to blaze the ball over the bar.
Med poured forward as the game entered injury time, forcing a succession of corners in a nerve wracking last couple of minutes. McCarthy did superbly to get a strong hand on the first at full stretch and palm it around the post when it looked like the wind would carry the ball in for an equaliser.
Med sent their goalkeeper up for the second and the dream scenario of him equalising nearly unfolded when the ball dropped to his feet. Luckily for the Fatboys, he seemed completely surprised by what was going on and simply stood there looking down at the ball for what felt like 30 seconds, allowing Standing to clear for a hard-earned three points. Or one if you are Martindale.
Hassocks Fatboys (4-4-2)
Scott McCarthy
Pulled off a superb save at the death from a late Med corner which secured the three points.
Matt Martindale
A colossal performance in which nothing got past him. Finally realised he had been on the winning side 20 minutes after the full time whistle.
Andy Rumble
Booked for a poor foul and lucky not to receive a second yellow for sparking a brawl. Besides that, he was an absolute rock.
Ron Pennicard
Couple of good defensive headers before injury struck again after 20 minutes, forcing the luckless veteran off.
Martyn Buxton
Returned to left back after a couple of outings further up the pitch. Played his part in a marvellous rearguard performance.
Rhys Kearvill
Difficult game for a winger given the weather, but he still managed to put in some dangerous deliveries.
Mark Potter
Had a little more licence to get forward than he is used to with the even-more-defensive Stacey alongside him in midfield. Seemed to enjoy it.
Chris Stacey
A welcome return from injury. He added some much-needed bite in midfield, including picking up a deserved booking. A superb showing.
Rob Lloyd
Scored twice from wide on the left and could have had a hat-trick. His best game yet for the club.
Chris Martin
Laid on Lloyd’s second. Would have had a clear run at goal were it not for a bizarre last man tackle in the first half.
Dave Standing
Five goals in two games with another well taken finish. Looks the real deal up front. Claimed an assist for Lloyd too.
Subs
Jason Gander
An injury doubt before the game, he came on with just 20 on the clock and didn’t lose a thing. Looked confident thanks to the JD and Coke still coursing through his veins from Oceana.
Stuart Ridley
Back from girlfriend duties, he was an assuring presence when introduced in the change to 4-5-1 late on.
Richard Coleman
Did all the hard work to set himself up for an open goal before firing over the ball. Good in possession in the final 10 as the Fatboys sought to wind down the clock.
Goals
25′ Lloyd, assist Standing
31′ Standing, assist McCarthy
54′ Lloyd, assist Martin
Cards
Yellow, Stacey: Awful tackle.
Yellow, Rumble: Even worse tackle than Stacey’s.
Man-of-the-Match
Chris Stacey was outstanding on his return, Andy Rumble put in some key blocks but it goes to Rob Lloyd for two goals and his best game yet.