Duke of Wellington 1-1 Hassocks Fatboys

Duke of Wellington win 5-4 on penalties
Vic Bettney Memorial Trophy Quarter Final
Sunday 9th December 2012
Waterhall

 

The dream of winning the Vic Bettney Memorial Trophy is over for another season for Hassocks Fatboys. They exited the competition in the cruellest fashioned, booted out on penalties at the quarter final stage by Division Four side Duke of Wellington.

It was a strange morning of football at Waterhall. The Fatboys opposition were completely dominant for the first 25 minutes and how they were not more than 1-0 up is a mystery nearly as big a mystery as how the Duke of Wellington got the Roman Catholic Relief Act of 1829 through Parliament. For the next 65 minutes, it was a complete reversal and the Fatboys should have wrapped the game up long before it went to penalties.

Had they not had such a lack of firepower then they might have done. Stuart Hunter pulled out on Saturday night in predictable fashion and he was joined on the absentee list by Jason Pennicard, who picked up that well known Stella Artois Flu. Of the other strikers in the squad, Chris Martin was working, Phil Standen remains on maternity leave and John Kearvill took to Facebook in the week to announce his retirement due to cold weather of recent weeks.

Manager Daniel Lawrence decided that the answer to his striker conundrum was to play himself up front. Although Lawrence had overindulged in Jacobs Post the night before to the point that the kit didn’t turn up at Waterhall until 15 minutes before kick off, he was probably the best option to join Dave Standing in attack, even if Martyn Buxton couldn’t hide his disappointment at not being asked ‘to do a job’.

The Fatboys were playing into a strong wind in the first half, which made getting suitable service to Lawrence and Standing difficult. It was that wind that was responsible for the Duke of Wellington goal, a corner being blown straight in at the near post with just 11 minutes played. There was an important lesson for the Fatboys about putting Chris Stacey, a man who is shorter than Tom Cruise, on the post from set pieces.

That may have been an unfortunate goal to concede, but lady luck evened things up shortly afterwards when the Duke of Wellington were denied a very clear goal thanks to a wonderful piece of acting from Scott McCarthy. An Andy Rumble clearance went very wrong as the ball ended up at least 10 yards over the Fatboys goal line before McCarthy plucked it back, sprung to his feet and sprinted to the edge of the box. So convincing was this charade that the referee refused to even acknowledge the host’s appeals that the ball had ended up in the back of the net.

McCarthy’s acting skills gave way to his goalkeeping ones after that and he made three excellent one-on-one saves to keep his side in it before the 30 minute mark arrived. After that, the Fatboys got a foothold in the game and rattled the woodwork twice before the interval. Stuart Ridley – restored to the starting lineup after missing the last few games helping his girlfriend with her Duke of Edinburgh Silver award – hit the bar with a cross-shot and Lawrence saw an effort from a tight angle come back off the post.

Kicking with the wind in the second half, the Fatboys felt confident that they could find a way back into the game given the positive manner in which they had finished the first half. Buxton and Rob Lloyd were by now linking up like the well-oiled machine that they have become down the left and Mark Potter put in some sturdy challenges in the middle of the park. This was accompanied by some sturdy moaning at his teammates, the referee, the opposition…anyone who would listen, essentially.

Potter’s moans seemed particularly bizarre given that the Fatboys were playing some of their best football of the season, knocking the ball about like peak-Arsenal. Yet for all that free flowing football which involved four or five passes, it was a classic route one goal that brought the visitors their equaliser. A long kick from McCarthy led to chaos and confusion in the Duke of Wellington defence which Standing capitalised in a fashion more lethal than the British forces at Waterloo to slot the ball under the goalkeeper for 1-1.

Rhys Kearvill entered the history books shortly afterwards as the first player to be sick in the middle of a game, leaving a huge pool of vomit out on the right flank. There was in fact so much sick that Kearvill had to be withdrawn, his place being taken by Andy Funnell who was making his first appearance since September after three months of the sidelines with the worst case of bruised ribs known to man. Funnell also seems to have invested in a pair of bright white boots during his time on the sidelines, an interesting choice for a no-nonsense full back who managed to get in a fight within two minutes of his introduction.

As the game entered the final 10 minutes, Jason Gander embarked on a couple of brazen runs into the Duke of Wellington half which suggested he had clearly been studying British Military tactics from the Peninsular campaign of the Napoleonic Wars. Standing was uncharacteristically off target when he blazed over and Ridley squandered a late one-on-one as the game went to penalties.

Buxton and Gander converted the first two Fatboys penalties while the Duke of Wellington were also successful. Both sides third penalties were missed – Stacey put his into orbit like a canon ball fired at the Battle of Seringapatam in the Anglo-Mysore War and McCarty saved brilliantly with his legs from the Duke of Wellington taker.

Ridley and Standing put numbers four and five away for the Fatboys as the shoot out ticked onto 4-4. It was Rumble who was the man to guarantee himself a spot in a Pizza Hut restaurant should the chain ever give into public demand and open a restaurant in Hassocks by blazing the Fatboys’ sixth spot kick over. That left the Duke of Wellington goalkeeper with the chance to send his side through and he duly did by beating McCarthy, bringing the Fatboys’ interest in the Vic Bettney Memorial Trophy to an end for this season.

 

Hassocks Fatboys (4-4-2)

Scott McCarthy
His three first half one-on-one saves kept his side in it. Claimed an assist for the goal and made a decent stop in the shoot out.
Chris Stacey
Showed his versatility by playing in another new position for the season, this time at right back. Didn’t disappoint with a sturdy defensive showing.
Andy Rumble
Had a good game at the back, so it was particularly harsh that he missed the decisive penalty.
Jason Gander
The opposition were even more concerned about his mazy runs from the back than his teammates were and he created two good chances as a result. Everything else was a sideshow really.
Martyn Buxton
Seemed genuinely offended that he wasn’t playing up front before the game. He didn’t let this spite put him off though as he had a good game at left back.
Rhys Kearvill
The first half wind meant it was hard for the Fatboys to get him into the game. In the second, they tried to but he was too busy being sick everywhere.
Mark Potter
Put in challenge after challenge to regain possession. Had a mini-meltdown in the second half, which was odd as the Fatboys were actually playing some good football at the time.
Stuart Ridley
Returned to the starting lineup with a typically energetic attacking performance. Unlucky to hit the bar in the first half and maybe should have done better with a one-on-one in the second.
Rob Lloyd
An intelligent performance as he provided an attacking threat of his own at the same time as sitting in for Buxton on the occasions that the skipper went bombing forward.
Daniel Lawrence
Deserved his start up front after being the willing volunteer to sit out most weeks so far. He got better as he sobered up and was unlucky to hit the post.
Dave Standing
Added another goal to his growing collection. The Fatboys’ biggest threat over the course of the 90 minutes.

 

Subs

Andy Funnell
Entered the fray for the final five minutes after Kearvill’s impressive vomiting session. Managed to nearly get in a fight in that time, which was impressive.

 

Goals

62′ Standing, assist McCarthy

 

Penalties

Buxton scored
Gander scored
Stacey missed
Standing scored
Rumble missed

 

Man-of-the-Match

Stuart Ridley, Martyn Buxton and Scott McCarthy all impressed but Chris Stacey gets the nod for deputising superbly at right back in the absence of Matt Martindale.