Hassocks Fatboys 1-2 Athletic Worthing

Sussex Sunday League Division Five
Sunday 17th February 2013
Waterhall

 

Any hopes of a top three finish in their debut Sussex Sunday League season appear to be over for Hassocks Fatboys after a 2-1 defeat against Athletic Worthing rounded off the home campaign in disappointing fashion at Waterhall Pitch 8.

The Fatboys conceded two very poor goals at one end and failed to test the Worthing goalkeeper at the other. That was despite him introducing himself individually to every Fatboys player before the game by telling them “I’m a right winger, I’ve never played in goal in my life before”. He now probably thinks goalkeeping is every easy because of this experience.

Regular readers of Fatboys match reports over the course of the campaign can probably guess the exact manner in which Worthing scored their two goals. Once again, there was a shocking inability to mark or pick up runners from midfield which ultimately resulted in the Fatboys’ downfall.

Daniel Lawrence was down to the bare bones in terms of team selection with just 12 to choose from and only one recognised striker in Dave Standing. Standing was therefore asked to plough a lonely furrow on top on his own as Lawrence opted for a 4-5-1 formation with Stuart Ridley playing in his ninth different position of the season out on the left wing.

Among the absentees were Matt Martindale, Rob Lloyd and Jason Pennicard. Andy Funnell answered a late call to come and sit on the bench and although he wasn’t used, he seemed to enjoy his morning out if for no other reason than getting to show off his new car, which looks like it should belong to an American gangster rapper rather than an electrician from Hassocks.

The Fatboys had to defend the Waterhall wind in the first half and they did that surprisingly well, managing to turn around at 0-0. Scott McCarthy pulled off two excellent one-on-one stops and tipped a free kick around the post at full stretch for an excellent camera save which typically was the one thing that Morwenna didn’t manage to capture on camera all morning.

Having conceded nine against Hove Athletic last time out, Jason Gander and Andy Rumble were giving much improved performances, even if Rumble did commit a world-record 27 fouls in 45 minutes which resulted in 12 unnecessary free kicks. How Rumble has been booked just once this season is an absolute mystery.

There was a concerning moment late in the first half when Martyn Buxton went down as if he had been shot by a sniper, laying sprawled on his back on the left hand touchline. With a concerned crowd watching his every move, Buxton then put his arms above his head and produced a perfect pin roll up the bank and off the pitch where he could receive treatment. Buxton admitted afterwards he had no idea why he decided to leave the playing area that way.

With the wind now behind them, the Fatboys fancied their chances of going onto win the match in the second half. The theory went that the hard work was done and they could now grow as an attacking entity to put some pressure on the Worthing goalkeeper who, in case you hadn’t heard, was actually a right winger.

It took just nine minutes of the restart for the Fatboys to set about putting that theory into practice. Rhys Kearvill knocked a nice ball down the channel for Standing to chase and he hung a wonderful cross up the back post where Ridley arrived to score past Worthing’s non-goalkeeper for 1-0.

Chris Stacey had a glorious chance to double the lead shorty afterwards with the best chance of the game. The midfielder found himself with time and space in the middle of the box but could only drag his effort wide. It was a move that would go onto prove costly as Worthing equalised less than 10 minutes later.

A quick throw was collected by a floppy haired midfielder who had been allowed to drift out to the touchline unchecked. He was then allowed to drift back towards the centre of pitch unchecked before teeing up his partner, who rifled a shot past McCarthy from outside the box.

Worthing’s winner arrived with around 20 minutes left from a corner. A deep ball into the box was headed down, causing the sort of panic you only see in Oscar Pistorious’ house on Valentines Day. In the ensuing chaos, a Worthing player managed to bundle the ball home, despite Gander doing his best to pick the ball up on the line and throw it out of the goal.

The game became ridiculously open after that as the Fatboys poured forward in search of an equaliser. Mark Potter hit a shot straight at the goalkeeper-who-wasn’t-a-goalkeeper, who seemed to go into shock that he had caught the ball. Lawrence had a strong penalty appeal waved away when his goal bound effort appeared to be blocked by a hand and Ridley fired into the side netting after Kearvill had found him with a bold diagonal.

There were chances for Worthing, too – most notably when a four-on-two break looked like it was going to wrap things up for the visitors, only for Richard Coleman to produce a brilliant last ditch tackle which halted the break. That rounded off a man-of-the-match performance for Coleman at right back, one of the few highlights of an otherwise lame way to say goodbye to Waterhall until next season.

 

Hassocks Fatboys (4-5-1)

Scott McCarthy
Three very good first half saves looked like they would provide a base for victory. Lost his mind with his defence when being let down from yet another set piece.
Richard Coleman
A superb last ditch tackle was the highlight of an excellent performance at right back, possibly his best yet in Fatboys colours.
Andy Rumble
A month without football has given his injured back time to recover. The result was a typical Rumble performance, steady and violent.
Jason Gander
Much improved after the Hove Athletic game. Made block after block when under pressure.
Martyn Buxton
There seems little point in talking about his performance when all this game will ever be remembered for is his pin roll up the bank.
Rhys Kearvill
Back in the starting XI after two games on the bench. Delivered some good balls from the right and tried to support lone-striker Standing when he could.
Chris Stacey
Enjoyed bombing on from a central position which did at times leave Potter and Lawrence a little overrun. Came close to scoring.
Mark Potter
Asked to sit deep and he did that with traditional discipline. Nearly had an equaliser late on, only for the Worthing goalkeeper (who was actually a winger) to save.
Daniel Lawrence
Finally able to play in his favoured central midfield position and he looked good there, offering balance with his cultured left foot.
Stuart Ridley
Can add left wing to the list of positions he has played this season. It worked out well for him as he popped up with his fourth goal of the campaign.
Dave Standing
Looked isolated at times up front on his own, but he still delivered the ball of the game for Ridley to score.

 

Subs

Andy Funnell
Unused.

 

Goals

56′ Ridley, assist Standing

 

Man-of-the-Match

Jason Gander, Andy Rumble and Rhys Kearvill all had good games but it goes to Richard Coleman for his best performance yet in a Fatboys shirt.