Hassocks Fatboys Reserves 6-1 St Mary’s Athletic

 

If revenge is a dish best served cold than Hassocks Fatboys Reserves did just that as they hammered St Mary’s Athletic 6-1 to avenge last season’s Sussex Sunday Junior Invitational Cup final defeat against the same opponents.

The 4-0 loss at Newhaven back in April was praying on both teams minds. Many of the St Mary’s players were making jibes about their success that day and the relative league positions of each side as a part of a nonchalant attitude towards the game as if they’d already won it.

That fired up the Fatboys and the game was classic from the first whistle. Straight from kick, the Fatboys launched a quick attack which led to cracking shot from player-boss Reece Wickwar and an even better save from the St Mary’s keeper, a corner to Fatboys with less than one minute played.

A delicious Justin Parker corner resulted in a powerful header from Kenny Tinnion and with the ball nestling towards the bottom corner just centimetres before crossing the line, the St Mary’s man on the post inexplicably decided to punch the ball out the way.

The referee pointed to the spot and the penalty which was dispatched beautifully by Ali Jenkins for his first goal since returning to the club, 1-0 to the Fatboys.

It wasn’t long before it was 2-0 either, Wickwar’s effort being spilled by the goalkeeper with Bruce Bignell on hand to finish with a wonderfully well-placed instinctive shot.

From this point St Mary’s seemed to switch on and begin to attack with a good level of efficacy and within two minutes a tricky ball behind the defence created a one-on-one between the St Mary’s attacker and Fatboys goalkeeper, 22-year-old Nick Jones.

There was only one winner here and it certainly wasn’t football as the attacker was hauled down, giving St Mary’s a penalty and a life line.

A confident St Mary’s midfielder stepped up to take the spot kick but a mixture of fantastic athleticism from 22-year-old Jones and some awful bastardry from Jenkins saw the penalty was saved.

This was followed up by an even more impressive save from 22-year-old Jones just five minutes later. The Fatboys had been on the back foot for a good 10 minutes, but had held strong thanks to some excellent organisation from Ross Joannides and Bignell at the heart of the defence.

Then, totally against the run of play the Fatboys managed to break out of their half and won a free-kick on the edge of the box. A great ball in from Parker was flicked on by Ian Simpson to create the perfect conditions at the back post for Desmond Balderdash and his headband to riffle the ball through the keeper’s legs.

That made it 3-0 at the break and the second half began well as both sides played some excellent football. Unfortunately for the Fatboys, St Mary’s pulled one back within 10 minutes through an absolute worldie which 22-year-old Jones could do nothing about it.

Just when things were looking up for St Mary’s, the Fatboys found themselves being given another free kick on the edge of the penalty box. One of the St Mary’s players had the hilarious and totally original idea of laying down behind the wall to prevent a low struck free kick, presumably something he’d seen on LadBible the week earlier.

After his team mates implored him to stand up and be useful, the free kick was struck low and hard by Jenkins with the ball flying right through the wall where the player had been laying just five seconds earlier and nestled into the bottom corner for 4-1.

St Mary’s continued to battle hard and looked determined not to let the game slip but it was all but over in the 65th minute when Simpson curled the ball into the top left-hand corner after some terrific play from the Fatboys forwards.

The St Mary’s right back finally realised that it was not going to be his sides day and after putting the ball out for a goal kick, he then blasted it against the changing room wall in a fit of furious anger, much to the delight of the other 21 players on the pitch.

To add insult to injury, substitue Simon O’Brien decided that he didn’t want to do any running to get into a shooting position despite having not been on the pitch long and so thought it would be better to cut out the middle man and just shoot from 35 yards instead. Remarkably, the ball went tantalising close to the back of the net.

St Mary’s nearly added a second with the ball bouncing on the line despite the fact that 22-year-old Jones was 100% certain it was going out for a goal kick.

There was still time for the Fatboys to add a sixth as the game entered it’s final moments. After some great interlink pay from O’Brien and Sam Harding, Harding slotted the ball into the bottom corner leaving the goalkeeper helpless despite the fact he dived the right way.

It was an excellent finish from Harding and his first ever goal in 11-a-side, a real treat for his Mum who had come along to Clayton to watch action unfold.

This was a well-earned victory for the Fatboys and an excellent performance form everyone on the pitch, especially Sexy Stuart Young. The reserves take on St Mary’s again in just two weeks’ time and it will be interesting to see which 11 they bring out this time and whether any of their cup final superstars will be on show for the return.
 

FATBOYS

Nick Jones
Sam Wilson
Ross Joannides
Bruce Bignell
Ali Jenkins
Stuart Young
Kenny Tinnion
Justin Parker
Jon Kelly
Ian Simpson
Reece Wickwar
 

SUBS

Mark Potter
Sam Harding
Stevie Stockwell
Simon O’Brien
 

GOALS

02′ Jenkins, assist Tinnion
10′ Bignell, assist Wickwar
40′ Kelly, assist Parker
59′ Jenkins, assist Wickwar
65′ Simpson, assist Wickwar
89′ Harding, assist O’Brien
 

MAN OF THE MATCH

There was a lot of debate as the award could have gone to practically everyone involved but it was eventually give to Ali Jenkins.