Hassocks Fatboys 1-0 Castle Sports

 

They say a week is a long time in politics, but it’s even longer in football. Just two weeks after losing 8-1 in the Ron Pavey Bowl to Castle Sports, Hassocks Fatboys turned the tables on the same opponents to win 1-0 and book a spot in the semi finals of the Sussex Sunday Challenge Trophy.

There have been plenty of inexplicable moments in Fatboys history. How did Jon Ballantyne come to wake up in a shower of a random persons flat with such soft hair after the F-A-T-B-O-Y-S pub crawl of 2013?

Why did Andy Brown go through a period of sleeping in his own shed the night before games when hammered when we should’ve been taking our first season in the Premier Division seriously? Why did Dan Jacques think that Chris Britton’s nickname was Sea Bream? Now, we can add an eight goal swing in 14 days with Christmas sandwiched in the middle to the list.

So, what changed in the space of a fortnight to affect such a dramatic reversal? There were two main differences that turned the scoreline from an 8-1 defeat to a 1-0 win. The first is that we were back at Clayton Rec. For the previous meeting, Clayton had been waterlogged and so the game was switched to the 3G at Downlands, which certainly seemed to suit Castle more. Playing on a pristine surface, they knocked the ball about well and took full advantage of some catastrophic mistakes to win the game with ease.

The second was that the Fatboys managed to keep 11 players on the pitch this time. Andy Brown is still waiting to hear whether the Crown Prosecution Service are going to press attempted murder charges against him for his horror tackle in the first half of the last game, but he did at least offer an apology to his teammates for his red card in the team talk before this one, which ended with the line, “and I know you’ll all forgive me as you love me so much.” An ego as big as his head.

Some might look at the result and come to the conclusion that the Fatboys must have sent out a completely different side, but in fact there were only a few changes made. Jon Ballantyne returned from injury at right back in place of Rob Lloyd, Joe Carey made a belated debut in the centre of defence with Britton moving to left back and Ronnie Devonish stepping into midfield to fill the void left by Andy’s suspension.

Jamie Wilkes was out injured so Dave Linehan joined Devonish and Jack Lewis in the middle of the park and up front, Stuart Brown was in London having remembered he has a girlfriend after missing their anniversary two week ago to play football instead. His place was taken by Ando Knott who was relegated from the reserves.

The Fatboys started the better of the two sides, Devonish and Lewis sitting deep to prevent Castle playing through the middle like last time, which also allowed Linehan to concentrate on making things happen in front of them.

Keane and Knott offered pace and width which Castle couldn’t deal with and on the rare occasions that the visitoers did manage to make it into the Fatboys defensive third, they were met by an impenetrable wall in the shape of Carey and Dan Turner.

The only goal of the game arrived just past the half hour mark and provided a classic lesson in thinking before you speak for the Castle manager. He was an excitable chap who had begun bellowing on the sidelines, “All they’ve got is the long ball, all they’ve got is the long ball.”

Less than two minutes later, a passing move that started at left back with Britton and went through Lewis, Devonish and Linehan ended with Keane delivering the perfect low cross which captain Jordan Walsh met with the most beautiful of deft, flicked finishes. So much for a long ball team.

Ironically, it was Castle who resorted to long ball tactics in the second half when they could find no way past Carey or Turner. This actually worked to the Fatboys advantage as Carey was proving himself to be a man who would leap up and head a brick away if you threw it in the air for him, the debutant not losing a single thing in the air all morning.

On the rare occasions Castle did manage to get through, they found Scott McCarthy’s handling to be impeccable as he dealt with a number of stinging long rangers comfortably. He saved his best save for the final five minutes, rushing out to make a fine one-on-one stop with an outstretched knee after a rare slip from Britton had allowed the striker to have a clear run at goal.

Castle had hit a post earlier in the second half from a dangerous free kick but that was the extent of their chances. In contrast, the Fatboys had a number of opportunities to make the game safe; Walsh rattling the woodwork and firing wide when well placed, Knott seeing an opportunity well blocked, Keane hitting a chance into the side netting and Turner rising at the far post to divert a corner inches wide.

The Fatboys did get the ball in the back of the net through a neat finish from substitute Joe Brockes but his effort was ruled out by a terrible offside decision from the Castle manager. To be fair to him, he had said before taking over as linesman, “Please don’t have a go at me, I’m not sure of the rules”, which probably wasn’t much consolation to Brockes who had seen the sole fall off his boot in the warm up and was then greeted on his entry to proceedings by the Castle number seven asking him where his hair had gone.

Brockes will at least have time to purchase some new boots (and a wig) before the big semi, which will take place against Physics Athletico on February 17th, with a place in the showpiece final at Culver Road up for grabs.

Finally, a special mention must go to Lewis who surprisingly managed to keep his new year’s resolution past the sixth day of 2019 by not getting booked. Less successful in their resolutions were Keane (turning up on time) and Turner (never playing Sunday League football again).
 

FATBOYS (4-3-3)

Scott McCarthy
A virtual spectator in the first half, his handling was good in the second when dealing with a number of teasing shots and the one-on-one save at the death was vital in securing the Fatboys safe passage.
Jon Ballantyne
A strong performance on his return from injury as he dealt well with wingers who were constantly swapping over which might have confused him had he had his normal Saturday night intake of Guinness.
Dan Turner
After the 8-1 humbling, he said he wasn’t going to play Sunday League again. Yet here he was, bright eyed and bushy tailed and playing a huge role in earning a clean sheet. Unlucky not to score at the end.
Joe Carey
The giant centre back was signed several months ago but his debut was worth the wait. Didn’t lose a thing in the air and looked like he’d been playing alongside Turner for years.
Chris Britton
Seemed to enjoy the freedom offered to him to get forward on his first start for the club at left back. Just like Ballantyne on the right, dealt well with the differing threats of the changing wide men.
Ronnie Devonish
Pushed forward into midfield to replace Brown and offer a more defensive outlook after the Fatboys were torn apart through the middle in the previous game with Castle. His brilliant performance meant it worked a treat.
Jack Lewis
Gave a disciplined display in protecting the defence and even tried a couple of long-distance efforts. Managed to keep up his new year’s resolution by not getting booked.
Dave Linehan
With Devonish and Lewis sitting in, he had the freedom to saunter forward and join the front three. Easily the Fatboys most creative player, he pushed Carey and Devonish close for man-of-the-match.
Dave Keane
Has gone from turning up with no kit to turning up fully kitted with all his belongings in a Tesco bag for life. Frankly, he can do what he wants if he keeps delivering crosses of the standard which set up Walsh for the only goal.
Jordan Walsh
Another hardworking showing on his 50th appearance for the club. Marked it with a goal of the highest quality, a fantastically calm and controlled flick to divert Keane’s cross in at the near post.
Ando Knott
Showed why he has made such an impact for the reserves this season with a tireless display of running. Only denied a first goal for the front side by a couple of last ditch Castle blocks,
 

SUBS

Joe Brockes
Looked understandably confused when a Castle defender asked him what had happened to his hair given that he had even less of it when the sides met in the league back in November. Unfortunate to have what would have been his first goal of the season incorrectly ruled out for offside.
Rob Lloyd
Unused
Rhyan Thwaites
Unused
Ananda Hoque
Unused
 

GOALS

32′ Walsh, assist Keane
 

MAN OF THE MATCH

A touch choice between Ronnie Devonish and Dave Linehan or who were outstanding in midfield and Joe Carey who had a superb debut at the heart of the defence – given that we went from conceding eight times to keeping a clean sheet, it has to be Carey.