Kingston Broadway 1-1 Hassocks Fatboys Reserves
Fatboys win 4-3 on penalites
Penalty heroics from rookie Nick Jones and veteran Jules Clay clinched victory for Hassocks Fatboys Reserves over Kingston Broadway in the Sussex Sunday League Junior Invitational Cup after a bizarre “90 minutes” had ended 1-1.
Substitute Desmond Balderdash pounced to equalise for the Fatboys in the last of 10 additional minutes at the end of the game after Broadway had opened the scoring in a 55-minute long first half.
Welsh stopper Jones, 22, saved two penalties in the resulting shootout, leaving sales guru Clay, 61, to send the away team through from the spot.
The Fatboys lined up with the Australian Jones, 22, in goal; a back four of Nick Davie, Ali Jenkins, Jason Gander and Stuart Young; Kevin Ticehurst in the anchor role; a midfield four of Justin Parker, Luke Vick, Mark Potter (in his natural False 9 role) and Stevie Stockwell; and player/manager Reece Wickwar the lone striker.
There was confusion and bewilderment as both teams awaited the start of the match after the referee seemed unable to decide which team should take kick off. This evidently rattled the Fatboys players, who were unable to find any rhythm on the Longhill School pitch during the opening proceedings.
However, their defence held firm, with Jenkins making an excellent goal line clearance from a long-range, goal-bound effort from the home team. A promising attacking run from Vick drew a cynical foul from the Broadway number six which the referee punished with the first booking of the game.
The home team opened the scoring after American Jones, 22, was unable to hold a long-range effort from the opposition, which their striker was able to pounce on and slot away.
The Fatboys’ famous endurance was called into question earlier than expected, after the referee failed to call a halt to the first half despite it going well over the 45 minute mark, much to the bemusement of both sets of players and fans. Data Analysts at Keymer & Hassocks Sports & Social Club HQ later determined that 55 minutes had in fact passed, despite very few stoppages.
Half-time was eventually called and the Fatboys trudged off after a disappointing performance. However, spirits were lifted when greeted at the touchline by former manager Jamie Stratton, making a David Brent-esque unwanted appearance at his former employers. His successor Wickwar rallied the troops, reminding them to respect the referee’s decisions and not offer any verbal protests.
Five minutes into the second half, a soft foul against Wickwar was met with an outburst of “THAT IS BULLSHIT!” from the Fatboys leader, which the referee calmly took on board. This hypocritical war cry further inspired the away side who showed a much improved second half performance. Substitutes Sam Wilson, Clay, Gary Whittington, Kenny Tinnion and Balderdash were brought on in the quest for an equaliser.
With pressure now surging towards the Broadway goal, the Fatboys began creating scoring opportunities with excellent build up from all areas of the pitch. Chances fell to Ticehurst, Tinnion, Wickwar and Jenkins, but none were able to take full advantage. Parker picked up a harsh booking after a fairly innocuous challenge by the touchline.
With 90 minutes showing on the scoreboard, it seemed time had run out on this year’s Invitation Cup run, but the Fatboys didn’t give up and kept pushing forward. This opened up gaps at the back and Broadway missed chances to put the game to bed. The Broadway number nine forced an outstanding point-blank save from British Virgin Islands keeper Jones, 22, when a simple pass to a teammate would’ve left him with a tap-in. The same player then kept the tie alive when firing over from a good position minutes later.
54 minutes had been completed when the Fatboys won what would surely be their final chance from a corner. Gibraltarian keeper Jones, now 23, raced up the pitch to join the attack. The resulting corner from Vick led to a scramble in the box, with the ball eventually falling to powerhouse Balderdash who drilled home to send the away players and fans into raptures.
The referee blew for full-time soon after the restart, meaning the tie went straight to penalties. Broadway took the unusual decision to put one of their outfield players between the sticks for the shootout. The Fatboys’ tails were wagging, however, and they were howling mad after Rhodesian keeper Jones, 23, superbly saved the first Broadway penalty. Parker, Jenkins and Gander dispatched their penalties in style, with the Broadway part-time keeper saving well from Whittington’s effort.
Broadway smashed home penalties two and three, but Panem stopper Jones, 23, brilliantly parried away their fourth, leaving victory in the hands of former Dragon’s Den star Clay. The entrepreneur, who claims he could sell ice to a polar bear, kept his cool, showing zero signs of nerves. He confidently stepped up and buried his penalty into the bottom corner, sending the keeper the wrong way to spark wild scenes of joy and book a quarter final date with Sussex Albion.
FATBOYS RESERVES (4-4-1-1)
Nick Jones
Nick Davie
Jason Gander
Ali Jenkins
Stuart Young
Stevie Stockwell
Justin Parker
Kevin Ticehurst
Luke Vick
Mark Potter
Reece Wickwar
SUBS
Jules Clay
Gary Whittington
Kenny Tinnion
Jon Kelly
Sam Wilson
GOALS
90+14′ Kelly, assist Gander