Sussex Albion 1-3 Hassocks Fatboys Reserves

Sussex Sunday League Division Four
Sunday 8th September 2019
 

After an encouraging 2-2 opening day against East Brighton Wanderers, Hassocks Fatboys were again on their travels for the second game of the campaign.

This time, we were off to our former home of Waterhall, which was thankfully in much better condition than when we played there last September and somebody had left more grass on the pitch than was found in that cannabis factory that got raided in Burgess Hill a few years ago. In fact, you could go as far as to say that the pitch was in stellar condition – as was the Fatboys performance in which a first three points arrived thanks to a 3-1 win over Sussex Albion.

22-year-old Nick Jones returned to captain the side in goal with an unchanged back four in front of him of Ross Joannides, Glen Clayton, Ali Jenkins and Nick Davie. Evil Luke Vick came in for his first start of the season alongside Bruce Bignell in the holding role which allowed Kevin Ticehurst to push further forward. Up front, Cheeky Ando Knott joined Reece Wickwar and Greg Chappell.

After making a slow start last week, the Fatboys were eager to get on the front foot from the first whistle and they certainly did that. Some nice football combined with a lot of moment from the front three soon fashioned a chance which Wickwar fired just over the bar.

At the other end, Albion couldn’t find a way past a defence that was being excellently marshalled by Jenkins. As a result, their supporters became increasingly frustrated with Joannides bearing the brunt of that anger. He took a throw approximately half a yard further forward than he should have, which sparked one charming man into shouting, “WHY DON’T YOU JUST TAKE IT ON THE FUCKING GOAL LINE,” in an early candidate for Overreaction of the Season. On the other side of the defence, Davie was having a surprisingly dominant time of it in the air even against his own teammates, clattering Knott and then Glen minutes later.

Chappell’s pace and strength was causing all sorts of problems down his wing and he hit one shot wide of the post and then won a throw in with another probing run. Wickwar went striding over, a sight that Sussex Sunday League defenders fear as they know an aerial bombardment is incoming and so it proved, a clumsy push in the back of Chappell as he tried to win a header from an Albion defender giving the referee no choice other than to point to the spot.

This was all too much for Ticehurst who began walking quite quickly back to the halfway line where he was greeted by Vick. “What the fuck are you doing here?” asked Evil Luke very politely. Kev’s response was, “I’m sorry Luke but I just can’t watch penalties.” Luke was very understanding and sent Kev straight back to the edge of the penalty area. Not that he needed to worry. Jenkins is a bad hand from the spot and he coolly dispatched the penalty to give the Fatboys a deserved lead.

Sussex Albion did pick pick themselves up after that and they too started to mirror the Fatboys by knocking the ball around well. The number 10 in particular was starting to impress as he danced through the midfield on a couple of occasions but couldn’t get much further with Glen and Jenkins restricting him to long shots which weren’t troubling 22-year-old Jones.

Next, Albion tried to play the ball through on the ground and although this was more of a success, 22-year-old Jones was quick off his line each time to snuff out the danger. That led to Albion deciding to go long from centre back and this proved to be a good decision as the Fatboys defence were completely caught out with the number 10 latching onto the ball before rounding Jones to level the scores.

With the half time whistle growing closer, the Fatboys went back on the attack to try and retake the lead before the break. Knott and Chappell forced the goalkeeper into routine saves and Chappell again earned another corner through sheer perseverance. In came the delivery and Albion thought they’d done enough to clear the danger but that reckoned without the interventions of Vick who hit a stunning half volley from a full 25 yards straight into the top corner.

That led to a much more positive atmosphere at half time but manager Wickwar was quick to drill into troops that they couldn’t rest on their laurels, especially as the start of the second half last week was nowhere near good enough. Ticehurst was listening intently and decided to try and help by getting a passing drill going, but to no avail. Wickwar then subbed himself off for the veteran Simon O’Brien.

Wickwar’s words had the desired effect as the Fatboys made the perfect start to the second half, and what you hear sums up what a weird and wonderful day this was. Davie robbed the right winger of the ball just inside the Fatboys half before jetting off down the wing on a run that beat three men. From there, he cut inside, nut megged the centre back and delivered a pinpoint cross to Chappell. Chappell still had plenty to do but he got the ball under control on his chest and laid it back to Bignell who, rather than smashing it goalwards, played a sublime pass to O’Brien who converted for 3-1. Probably the best team goal the reserves have ever scored.

While it came as something of a shock to the men in green, it was even more of a surprise to Albion and as a result it was the Fatboys who were completely dominant from that point on. O’Brien, having missed a header from two yards last week, added another glorious miss to his collection when managing to volley over from two yards and Bignell burst through midfield to hit a spectacular long range effort which did hit a target, albeit it the wrong one as it crashed into the Hove Lawns goal on the pitch behind.

With the Fatboys looking so comfortable, Wickwar began to ring the changes as Mark Potter, Sam Wilson and Jules Clay entered the game with Ross Joannides, Kevin Ticehurst and Ando Knott getting a rest. Jules nearly had an instant impact as O’Brien found him lurking in the box with a brilliant cross but the veteran somehow tapped wide with the goal gaping. We’ll let him off that miss as he was probably a bit rusty given this was his first game as a winger since 1972.

That miss seemed to inspire Albion and they came back into the game in the last 15 minutes or so, helped by switching their wingers over. The player now positioned on the right cut inside and hit one goalwards which forced 22-year-old Jones into a very good save. Jenkins cleared the loose ball for a corner, the first of four in quick succession as nerves set in and the Fatboys just couldn’t clear their lines.

The final chance of the game fell to Albion when the number 10 sprung the offside trap. Jones found himself being lobbed but luckily for the Fatboys, so did the goal as the ball went high and wide. That was followed by the final whistle and a deserved 3-1 win with the only disappointment being that the Fatboys didn’t make the scoreline more damaging.
 

Fatboys

Nick Jones
Made some important saves when called into action. Commanded the defence very well and made some excellent noises as the Fatboys struggled to clear there lines in the second half.
Ross Joannides
He’s been a revelation since moving to right back, getting up and down the wing as well as defending stoutly. Kept the left winger quiet and made some new friends on the sidelines.
Ali Jenkins
He took his penalty very well, even if Kev couldn’t watch. At the other end, he made some vital interceptions and was very strong in the air at all times.
Glenn Clayton
Looks like the piece of the jigsaw we’ve been missing at the back. Didn’t put a foot wrong and swept up brilliantly. Some excellent distribution as well.
Nick Davie
This was a good day for Davie. Not only did he go on that barnstorming run to set up the Fatboys’ third, but he went on a date in the afternoon as well. Once he’d bored everyone in the Club afterwards with the story of the assist, including bar man Gordon.
Bruce Bignell
Covered every blade of grass and that was just in the warm up. A fine performance, with a great amount of energy and good range of passing.
Luke Vick
Goal of the season may already be wrapped up for the reserves. An absolute stunning strike and a deserved man-of-the-match award for being at the heart of everything good.
Kevin Ticehurst
Enjoyed playing his new attacking role and linked up well with the front three with some nice passing. Did his fair share of tracking back which proved helpful and also tried to instigate a passing drill at half time.
Reece Wickwar
Withdrew himself at half time which was a decision that was way too hard on himself. He was a constant pain for the Albion defence and was unlucky not to open his account for the season.
Greg Chappell
Ran himself into the ground, chased everything and got in the right position every time. He was a great outlet and looks a top signing. Sadly, he had no moustache drawn on his face this week.
Ando Knott
Work rate was astonishing, allowing Albion no easy exits. He attacked well down the left with the only thing missing from his performance being a goal.
 

Subs

Simon O’Brien
Couldn’t have made a quicker impact as he scored with his first involvement. That makes in two in two and he currently leads the scoring charts. We’re already looking forward to seeing how he manages to miss from two yards next week, hopefully with a back heel.
Jules Clay
Was introduced as a roving winger which bought back memories of his famous 1971-72 season for Lindfield. Linked up well with Davie but must be wondering how he didn’t score his first goal for the club.
Sam Wilson
Made some vital clearances and played some nice passes down the right channel. He also instigated a new form of time wasting, by smashing the ball straight into the opposition players groinal area when it was already out of play.
Mark Potter
Shielded the back four well and put in some excellent sliding tackles. His best contribution was probably the array of noises he made as Davie went on his run.
 

Goals

Jenkins, assist Chappell
Vick, assist Wickwar
O’Brien, assist Bignell
 

Man-of-the-Match

Most of the 15 players involved could have a valid case. But it goes to Luke Vick for an excellent strike which rounded off a performance in which he was the beating heart of everything both in attack and defence.