AFC Telscombe 1-0 Hassocks Fatboys Reserves

Sussex Sunday League Division Four
Sunday 22nd September 2019
 

Dark clouds and humid conditions greeted Hassocks Fatboys Reserves as they made the long trip to Peacehaven for their fourth game of the season to take on Sussex Sunday League newcomers, AFC Telscombe.

The long drive clearly had an adverse effect on the pre-game preparations as a lethargic warm up took place, much to the displeasure of gaffer Reece Wickwar and his echo, Kevin Ticehurst who was similarly unimpressed. This led to a pre-game bollocking from Reece before the starting line up was revealed with a number of changes from the previous week’s 4-2 win over Whitehawk Rangers.

Goal scoring sensation Greg Chappell had been dropped to the first team, chairman Potter was packing for a trip to Barcelona where he will be promoting the Fatboys brand and Ando Knott and Nick Davie were enjoying a romantic break together in Newcastle.

As a result, the team looked like this: Youth team product and captain Nick Jones was in goal with Ali Jenkins and Glen Clayton continuing their partnership in defence, currently the second best in Division Four. Ross Joannides returned from international duty to reclaim the right back spot and Stuart Young was passed fit to start at left back having completed the various concussions tests after the blow to head he suffered in the closing stages of last week’s win.

Bruce Bignell and Des Balderdash provided the engine and muscle in the middle of the pitch with Reece springing a surprise by naming the evergreen Jules Clay in the hole. Chris Clayton started as the lone striker with Simon ‘accidently deleted his middle name’ O’Brien on the left and first teamer Michael Russell made his reserves debut out on the right.

That left a strong bench of Kev, Reece and Sam Wilson eagerly waiting to come on. There was also a brief moment of excitement before the game as Kev informed everyone that there was a scout from Premier League perennial bottle jobs Tottenham Hotspur in attendance. This was soon proved to be rubbish and was in actual fact just a bloke who was coaching the kids team on the pitch next to us wearing a Spurs coat.

After the late drop out of the allocated referee, a member of the AFC Telscombe staff kindly volunteered to take the whistle to ensure that the game was able to go ahead. Everyone at the Fatboys would like to thank him for taking the time to do this difficult job.

The lethargic nature of pre-match warm up translated into a slow start as the Fatboys struggled to put two passes together in the opening exchanges, instead choosing to lump the ball forward for Chris Clayton who was being marked by two of the biggest defenders we will probably see in the league this season. Unsurprisingly, this tactic wasn’t working and as a result, the Fatboys defence spent the first 20 minutes mainly on the edge of their own box.

However, you don’t have the second best defence in the league without good reason, and the visitors were restricted to long shots by an impressive and resolute display from the back line. Further up the pitch, Clayton, O’Brien and Russell were feeding of scraps and Jules was having a torrid time of it with the AFC defenders putting in a number of hefty challenges on the veteran playmaker.

AFC had the better of the first half chances and they should have opened the scoring on 20 minutes. Another long shot from AFC was well saved by Jones who parried the ball, unfortunately straight into the path of the onrushing forward. Somehow, the striker’s shot lacked power and despite having pretty much an open goal, he hit the post before the rebound was cleared.

The Fatboys attempts to get a foothold in the game saw them take a leaf out of what is going on in Japan at the minute, where the Rugby World Cup got underway this weekend. The men in green found themselves kicking for touch, towards the corner flags which led to a number of throw-ins around the AFC penalty box. Unfortunately, these came to nothing.

At this point, Wickwar clearly felt that we needed an injection of pace in the forward areas and before Jules needed a hip replacement following another strong challenge, decided that it was time to bring himself on in the number 10 role in place of the veteran. This proved to be a good decision by the player manager as the Fatboys ended the first half on top and created some good chances, although the opposition keeper was never really troubled by them.

The teams entered the interval locked at 0-0 and as the second half began, there was a welcome pick up in the wind which was blowing in the Fatboys favour. Hopes were high that this would allow us to spend a little more time out of our own half in the next 45 minutes, and so it proved.

Things started well as Russell, with his half time instructions to take on more players with the ball still fresh in his mind, found himself by the corner flag with just the full back for company. A quick drop of the shoulder sent the AFC full back towards Newhaven and Russell dribbled his way into the box before eventually winning a corner off the central defender.

That seemed to lift the Fatboys and the game became more of an end-to-end contest, helped by the fact that the men in green were now getting the ball on the deck and playing some lovely football, even if the final product was perhaps lacking somewhat.

O’Brien up top meanwhile was beginning to run out of steam, not surprising give that he’d had a difficult shift in the first half chasing long balls into the corner and working off scraps to try and make something happen. Normally, you could excuse someone for giving their all for the team and then lacking energy, but Reece was not in a forgiving mood this morning.

A second half row between the two erupted after SOB failed to chase down a loose ball. This resulted in threats from Reece that he would sub off his joint top scorer, after which Wickwar received a telling off from the opposition defender for being so mean. The supporters will be pleased to hear that Reece and SOB kissed and made up after the game.

This disagreement seemed to give SOB a second wind however, and this resulted in the two best Fatboys chances of the game coming from the creative instincts of the accidentally-middle-nameless winger. The first came when O’Brien cut in from the left and picked out Clayton who saw his shot saved well by the keeper. The second was a similar move, cutting in from the left and finding Michael who saw his shot come off the crossbar and out for a goal kick.

Despite the increased pressure from the Fatboys in the second half, AFC were still causing trouble of their own at the other end of the pitch. As the visitors poured forward, so AFC were able to break in numbers and the introduction of some real pace on the wing gave them an added threat which the Fatboys did well to deal with.

These attacks earned AFC a number of corners, and it was from such a scenario that what will probably turn out to be the most controversial incident of the season happened. An over hit delivery sailed well beyond the back post with the Fatboys defence pushing up to the edge of the box as a result. One of the AFC players had chased down the corner and managed to pass it back to a teammate who then crossed the ball back into the box, finding three AFC players all alone, all offside.

However, the flag didn’t go up. As Jones came out to try and claim, one of the offside players got there seconds before the young goalkeeper which meant that instead of Jones punching the ball clear, he ended up accidentally slapping the forward in the face. It was a clear penalty and while there could be no arguments about the foul, Jones should never have been put in the position where he was doing a strong impression of his fellow countryman Conor McGregor as all three of the AFC players were offside.

Unfortunately, Jules’ failure to raise the flag proved costly. He later admitted that he was not paying any attention and had instead been chatting to some kids on the sidelines who were waiting to use the pitch after our game. That meant that the ref was left with no other option than to award the penalty rather than the offside, with the spot kick drilled hard down the middle for 1-0 with only five minutes to go.

The remainder of the game was end-to-end stuff played at 100mph as the Fatboys pushed for an equaliser and AFC looked to exploit the huge gaps that left at the back. The best chance from those kitchen sink throwing tactics fell to Chris Clayton when a corner from the left found the formidable hold up player with a free header which went narrowly wide of the target.

That proved to be the final opportunity for the Fatboys as the ref ended the game not long after, sending the men in green to their first loss of the season. It was a very tight game and given that AFC will quite clearly be around the top of the table come the end of the season, the Fatboys should be encouraged by the fact that we pushed them all the way in a match that both teams could have won and it would have been a fair result.

Despite that, this loss was too much to take for some members of the Fatboys as they were in the changing rooms post game. Right in the middle of a tactical de-brief, Ticehurst let out the sort of roar that you would expect from an animal in Jurassic Park. A sign of his frustrations that he was unable to help his team to a win in front of a Premier League scout, presumably.
 

Fatboys Reserves 4-3-3

Nick Jones
Despite the amount of first half pressure from AFC, he only really had long shots to contend with, which he did well. Will be glad to have seen AFC hit the post from the rebound after he pulled off a good save.
Ross Joannides
Moving Ross to full back is one of a number of tactical masterstrokes that Reece has made this season. Not only is he solid defensively, he is also keen to get forward to support his winger.
Glen Clayton
Glen has been a revelation since re-joining the Fatboys for his third spell at the start of the season, putting in some brilliant displays at centre back. This was exactly the same and he is surely an early contender for Player of the Season.
Ali Jenkins
Another solid display from the joint top scorer. He marshalled the back line well and even bled for the cause as he slid-in on the tarmac-like pitch to stop the AFC forward having any joy, losing the skin on his leg in the process.
Stuart Young
Solid and dependable are the two most commonly used words when talking about Stu, and he yet again showed why. Another 7 out of 10 from a man who spent the first hour marking the danger man for AFC out of the game.
Des Balderdash
In typical Des style, this was another all action display. Happy to get stuck in and break up play in the midfield as well as look to make things happen in attack. A lung-bursting box-to-box second half meant that he was done on the 70 minute mark, making way for Kev.
Bruce Bignell
Did not stop running all game, as you would expect from someone who, for some reason, often runs many miles for enjoyment in his spare time. Like Des, Bruce was happy to get stuck in protecting the back four and was often found making the run past the opposition defenders to join in the attacks.
Jules Clay
Jules started this game in his fifth different position of the season, this time occupying the number 10 role. He moved the ball well, trying to bring in the wide player and make things happen. Was on the receiving end of a number of rough challenges and made way for Reece after 30 minutes. The less said about his stint running the line, the better.
Michael Russell
A first appearance for the reserves for Michael saw him make a slow start on the right. He linked up well with Ross, but suffered from lack of movement when looking for a pass from deep. An improved second half when he attempted to take on the defenders led to a number of chances created.
Chris Clayton
Difficult afternoon for the lone striker as he mainly had to deal with high balls aimed to him. Did well against two strong defenders to win his headers and flick the ball on, but with a lack of Fatboys players around him these often came to nothing. Unlucky not to score with a header at the end.
Simon O’Brien
Didn’t see much of the ball in the first half, but tried to make something happen when he did get it. Was more involved in the second half and other than a five minute spell when he and Reece had a Bowyer/Dyer moment, created the best Fatboys chances.
 

Subs

Reece Wickwar
Came on after 30 minutes to bring some energy and pace to support Chris up front. No coincidence that his introduction kick-started the Fatboys into playing some more attacking football.
Sam Wilson
Replaced Ross at right back towards the end of the game, and carried on where he left off the previous week with a strong display.
Kevin Ticehurst
Usual energy from Kev at the end of the game as he won headers and tackles to thwart a number of AFC attacks. Needs to do more revision on what a football scout looks like.