Hassocks Fatboys Reserves 2-1 Sussex Albion

Sussex Sunday League Junior Invitational Cup First Round
Sunday 17th November 2019
 

The Sussex Sunday League Junior Invitational Cup may not be the most prestigious of trophies to the wider footballing world but it is certainly not one that Hassocks Fatboys Reserves take lightly, having reached the final and semi-final in the previous two seasons.

This year’s campaign started at home to Sussex Albion with the winner set to look forward to the prospect of a clash with a banished former reserve team manager whose name is now dirt in Mid Sussex. In fact, the trophy is taken so seriously in these parts that the versatile Bruce Bignell opted to pay a £130 Uber fee to get home from London in time for kick off. His reward? A place on the bench to go with his five star rating.

Many suggested it would be a case of ‘After the Lord Mayor’s Show’ following the impressive 8-1 victory over Hove Lions the previous week. And if we’re completely honest, they were absolutely correct as the Fatboys blagged their way into the next round with a 2-1 win against much improved opponents from the previous league fixture between the sides at Waterhall in September.

The Reserves have got off to an impressive start in this campaign which many have put down to the formidable pairing at centre back between Ali Jenkins and Glen Clayton. Jenkins had been unavailable in previous fixture, but the partnership was set to be reunited until a 9am WhatsApp from a teammate showed Clayton on Worthing beach in nothing but trainers and a dressing gown, returning the content of the previous evening’s drinking session.

This unexpected blow forced Wickwar to shuffle his pack further; Sam Harding replaced Stuart Young at fullback, Chairman Potter came in for Luke Vick in the middle of the park alongside Justin Parker, making his first outfield start of the season, while Des Balderdash and Jenkins lined up alongside each other at centre back for the first time.

It was a scrappy opening 20 minutes for the Fatboys as Albion put the hosts under vast amounts of pressure. In particular it was clear that full backs Harding and Nick Davie were in for a busy time of it as wave after wave of Albion attacks and corners were soaked up. Thankfully for Davie, his morning would eventually be made easier after he was stripped of throw ins quite early in proceedings, a foul-throw too many for the ruthless Wickwar.

Captain Nick Jones’s solid performances this year have quietly gone under the radar, owing largely to the form of the defence and his impressive games-to-lobs ratio. However, he was at his best here at Clayton, tipping a couple of low drives past the post and making one spectacular save to turn an overhit cross over his bar.

At the other end, the attacking trio of Ando Knott, Wickwar and Simon O’Brien were seeing little of the ball as the midfield three of Potter, Parker and Gregggggg were kept busy by their tricky opponents.

Slightly against the run of play, the Fatboys surprisingly took the lead around the 25 minute mark. O’Brien began to take the game to Albion, and forced a penalty after a driving round down the visitors right. Jenkins is this years nominated penalty taker and he duly dispatched the kick, taking a lump out of the Clayton turf with it. 1-0 to the men in green.

Shortly after the opening goal, the Fatboys could have had a second penalty, however this time Ando Knott was adjudged to have simply rolled his ankle. It was an unfortunate moment for the top-scorer, who not only had to be substituted while on a heap behind the goal but had to make do with Kev trying to heal his swollen ankle with some deep heat and a bottle of water. Kev, you’re not getting the job of physio anytime soon with suggestions like that.

Bignell entered proceedings in an attempt to justify his extortionate Uber and also add some legs into midfield with JP moving out onto the right. However, the tactical switch made little difference to the sides below-par display and the lead was short lived however. It was one Albion set piece too many for Fatboys to defend, and a harsh deflection off Gregggggg saw the ball sail over Jonesy and into the roof of the net. Sadly for all concerned, this couldn’t be considered either an own goal or a lob.

After something of a dressing down at half time from boss Wickwar, more physicality was demanded of the greens and Glen Bod was asked to strip from his dressing gown and enter the fold. The gaffer himself wanted to watch from the sideline and work out why things weren’t quite falling for the Fatboys, which it must be stated was definitely not because he wanted to sulk at having missed a sitter late in the second half.

Moments after the team talk, Potter decided to take this request for more physicality far too seriously, surprisingly escaping a yellow for booting a Sussex player over having been nutmegged. Potter was soon hauled for his efforts.

Ticehurst came on and it was deemed a great opportunity to add much needed height to some wonderful set pieces that were floated in from Parker. Well, those were presumably the views of his onlooking father anyway – but Reece soon overruled and made sure he focused on the more defensive aspects of the game.

In truth, the second half was lacking in incident, although O’Brief was comfortably the most dangerous player on either side as time-after-time he skipped past the opposition right back, only to be thwarted by some good goalkeeping. He’s also asked me to mention that he nearly scored a header, but to be honest I don’t remember that.

Wickwar decided to return to the fold for the last 15 in an attempt to spare the onlooking crowd from a penalty shoot out, and his decision paid off as he miss-hit a volley into the hands of the keeper, only to see it somehow get dropped over the goal line. The history books will however record that he won the game with an absolute thunderbastard of a volley that flew into the roof of the net.

The defence and keeper stood firm after that and it was job done, through to the next round and another opportunity to face a Sussex Sunday League Manager with one of the most decorated CVs of all time.

 

Fatboys (4-3-3)

Nick Jones
Man-of-the-match with some good saves in both halves.
Sam Harding
An impressive return to the fold against a particularly tricky winger.
Ali Jenkins
Notched a penalty and put in a solid performance.
Des Balderdash
Like Chris Sutton and Adam Virgo before him, strong at the back and powerful up front.
Nick Davie
Coped well on his weaker side with one spectacular foul throw for good measure.
Justin Parker
Some wonderful deliveries from dead balls in particular.
Mark Potter
A performance full of graft, should have been carded.
Gregggg Chappell
Fantastic energy in a more defensive role than he’s been accustomed to.
Reece Wickwar
Match winner, won’t score many better.
Ando Knott
Unlucky to be on the end of Kev’s physiotherapy.
Simon O’Brien
A busy game for the left sided forward, unlucky not to score.

 

Subs

Bruce Bignell
The most expensive matchfee of his life, solid performance.
Glen Clayton
An impressive display given his arrival in nothing but a dressing gown.
Kevin Ticehurst
Retained the ball well.
Sam Wilson
Not used but did a grand job running the line in freezing conditions.

 

Goals

Jenkins, assist O’Brien
Wickwar, assist Sussex Albion goalkeeper

 

Man of the Match

Nick Jones