Woodingdean Wanderers Reserves 2-3 Hassocks Fatboys Reserves

Sussex Sunday League Division Four
Sunday 12th January 2019

 

After a cracking start to 2020 for Hassocks Fatboys a week ago when they secured a BIG SEMI in the ‘Sunday Invitational Bottom Leagues Keep the Season Going on Longer Cup, ’it was back to the bread and butter of Division Four for Reece Wickwar’s men with a stern test against inform Woodingdean Wanderers Reserves.

22 Year old Nick Jones remained in goal, with a back four of last Sunday’s Man-of-the-Match Sam Harding, Ali Jenkins, Des Balderdash and the returning Sam Wilson. The midfield three consisted of Wickwar, the returning Nick Davie and debutant Shane Collins and Alejandro Knott, Chris Clayton and Gregg Chappell made up the front line.

With Shane finally making his debut for the Fatboys, we now have another a seventh set of brothers to have played for the club. Shane and Roo join Andy and Stuart Brown; Ian and Jack Simpson; Chris, Glen and Nick Clayton; Justin Parker and Kenny Tinnion; Matt and George Martindale; Jon and James Ballantyne and Jordan and Aaron Walsh in this illustrious club.

Manager Reece Wickwar has often received minor criticism this season for his early meet times of 9.30am, a whole hour ahead of kick off. It was a bit of a surprise then to pull into the car park at 9.20am to see Woodingdean kitted up, on the pitch and about to start their warm up ahead of the game. They even had a track suited manager who had lots of cones lined out and all sorts of exercises ready to run through.

This preparation was in contrast to Gregg, who had quite the morning. He visited every room in Longhill School before finding the Fatboys, thanks to a playlist from Kerrang that was blaring out in the away changing room. Gregg’s journey wasn’t at an end here though, as he was the wrong side of a locked door.

Reece eventually heard Gregg’s knocking and shouting, which proved to be a cause for concern for the manager. “Hang on, I think someone is screaming for help in there,” said Reece, before realising it was Gregg and informing him he had to exit the school, come all the way back around the building and then up some stairs to find us.

Given all this confusion, the Fatboys’ warm up was less vigorous than Woodingdean’s with just a light jog and some stretches. Continuing on the theme of Kerrany, each player had to announce their favourite Kerrang Song. The highlights of this included some lovely sung lyrics from Des and Kev announcing his choice, but then admitting he didn’t know a single word from it. Shane got his new teammates on side straight away with a popular choice.

Onto the football and both teams started the game full of energy. Gregg managed to exploit some space down the right and won an early corner for the Fatboys. This led to the game’s first dangerous situation, although worryingly it ended up being down the other end as the Fatboys made a right mess out of the set piece which was hacked clear as a result. Woodingdean launched a quick counter which left their winger one-on-one with Jones but he could only hit the post despite having all the time and space in the world. The ball then rolled across the goal line before it was hacked away. A let off for the Fatboys.

After that, the visitors began to moan their way into the game. Ando and Gregg in particular were proving to be a real thorn in Woodingdean’s side. After a lovely clearance from Wilson, Gregg latched onto the ball and caused havoc in the home box. Woodingdean did sort of manage to clear but not convincingly with the loose ball falling just outside the area at the feet of Clayton and his lovely chip sailed into the top corner for 1-0.

That seemed to shock the hosts as the Fatboys took control. Davie played a cracking ball to set Knott on his way down the left and his pull back was smashed just over by Collins. Woodingdean went up the other end and earned a corner which led to the biggest talking point of the game as Gregg and the home team’s winger got into a bit of a shoving match.

Players from both parties decided to get involved with the Woodingdean captain decided that a good thing to do would be running 40 yards up the pitch to shove Jenkins to the floor. This brought the curtain down on the melee and allowed the referee to dish out some punishments. Gregg and the winger were booked while the captain was shown a straight red card. The game was only 20 minutes old at this point, which meant that the Woodingdean skipper had spent 40 minutes longer warming up than he had on the pitch. A cracking effort.

In truth, the man advantage never really showed over the rest of the first half. Jones had to make a wonderful save from a free kick and then showed smart handling from a long range effort. The Fatboys had chanced to increase their lead, Collins playing a peach of a pass to Gregg but his shot was well saved by the keeper’s legs. Des produced a lovely looping header from the corner but again the Woodingdean goalkeeper showed his worth by tipping it over.

Collins required a breather at half time, hardly a surprise given this was his first competitive game in five years. Reece took the chance to adjust a couple of players positionally as a result, with Bruce Bignell coming on in defence and Des moving into midfield.

The Fatboys started the second half well with Reece’s energy levels in the middle of the park being matched by high levels of complaining from everyone in green. Davie meanwhile was enjoying himself in his new midfield position and he played another fine ball over the top to Knott. The Spanish marksman still had plenty to do but be left his man for dead before slotting home to double the Fatboys’ advantage.

Despite trailing 2-0 and being down to 10 men, Woodingdean still remained dangerous. They were enjoying long spells of possession. One such period of dominance saw a pinpoint cross met by the head of the striker but Jones somehow pulled off a world class save to keep it out, hooking the ball around the post when everyone was expecting the net to bulge.

Wickwar decided to freshen things up as the half went in with Wilson and Knott making way for Ross Joannides and Simon Old’Brien respectively. The changes couldn’t prevent Woodingdean creating more opportunities though and Jones had to be quick off his line on several occasions to cut out crosses and through balls.

Collins returned to the field in place of Davie with Ticehurst coming on for Clayton. Kev’s introduction up front proved to be a masterstroke from Reece as within minutes of coming on, he latched onto a great pass from Chappell, took a touch to set himself and then unleashed a beautiful strike which leathered into the top corner. The Fatboys now led 3-0 but more incredibly, we had yet another contender for Goal of the Season. That year when Kenny won for managing to score a free header from a corner six yards out seems like a lifetime ago now.

Ticehurst was only denied a second by a smart save and another shot from the edge of the box from Collins whistled just wide. Woodingdean hadn’t given up though and when Des took drastic measures to halt a counter attack illegally, the hosts hand a penalty which was calmly dispatched past Jones after the Fatboys had spent five minutes moaning incessantly at the decision.

This gave Woodingdean a huge lift and it wasn’t long before they grabbed a second as the Fatboys’ famous Muppet Show defending reared its head. Bruce was the only calm individual in a sea of chaos. Every single green shirted defender had at least one chance to clear the ball, but nobody put their foot through.

Eventually, this led to the ball being shot towards goal by the Woodingdean striker. It took a couple of deflections on the way through but there was still one final opportunity to clear which fell to Harding. Despite Sam’s heroic efforts, he only succeeded in sliding the ball in to get the Own Goal of the Season award up and running (better late than never). He also collided with the post for good measure.

That coming together with the frame of the goal saw Harding forced off for the final five minutes with Davie summoned back to the action. Judging by Davie’s reaction to being asked to return, you could have been forgiven for thinking that Reece had asked him to run a 10k around Brighton, not play five minutes at right back in Sussex Sunday League Division Four. Wickwar was his usual sympathetic self, telling Davie, “I don’t care if your tight, you’re playing full back for the last five minutes so get on with it.”

Davie needn’t have worried as Old’Brien was doing a shocking amount of defensive work, which at one point led to him being caught late by a Woodingdean player. It was clearly an accident but also clearly a foul, a concept which the Woodingdean manager couldn’t seem to grasp as if mistiming a tackle when genuinely trying to win the ball was some sort of new concept which he’d never heard of because it had been dreamt up in a Russian lab somewhere.

The opposition boss decided to take his anger out on Old’Brien, booting the ball at the veteran’s face while he was still lying on the ground. Des wasn’t impressed, telling the manager, “You’re a fucking embarrassment, look at you, you are a 45 year old man in a matching tracksuit.” Old’Brien almost had the last laugh, his lovely skill down the wing resulted in a cross which found Collins who channelled his inner Alireza Jahanbakhsh to try a superb attempt on the volley but it blew well wide of the post. 10/10 for the effort nonetheless.

With that, the full time whistle went and there was relief all round for Wickwar’s men. It must be said that Woodingdean put in a real shift given that they had to play for an hour with 10 men, and that they’d been warming up for an additional hour on top of that. Credit also to the young referee, who dealt superbly with the Fatboys relentless moaning throughout the game which was the sole reason that we won.

 

Hassocks Fatboys Reserves (4-3-3)

Nick Jones
The young keeper pulled off plenty of saves and was excellent coming for crosses and quick of his line. New year, new me?
Sam Harding
Another fine performance from the full back who linked up well with Chappell as well as keeping the nippy winger quiet for large period. More importantly, he got the own goal count for the season up and running.
Ali Jenkins
Disgraceful for the defender to have complained at getting pushed in the face by an opponent who’d run 40 yards up the pitch to assault him. Didn’t let the chaos phase him and led the defence superbly.
Des Balderdash
Very tidy with the ball at the back and added some useful energy to the midfield in the second half. Almost grabbed a first half goal as well.
Sam Wilson
Man-of-the-Match contender. Played a big part in the first goal and was first to everything down the left hand side. Some vital clearances too.
Shane Collins
The debutant was playing his first competitive game for five years and had a blinder. Some useful passing in the midfield and made some lovely tackles. Only thing missing was a goal.
Nick Davie
Wickwar finally gave in to Davie’s begging Sunday texts saying he could do a job in another position. On the evidence of this, Davie has actually been telling the truth. Picked up a nice assist to boot.
Reece Wickwar
The player manager once again put in a great shift. He stuck to his pre-game tactics by saying he would be doing the midfield running; goodness knows how much ground he covered. Played a part in all three goals.
Gregg Chappell
His first yellow card for the club but that couldn’t put a downer on a great morning for the popular winger. Two assists and helped Sam Harding with the defensive work.
Chris Clayton
A calm and elegant finish into the top corner which, by his own admission, hasn’t happened too often in his career. A handful all game for the Woodingdean defence.
Ando Knott
Took a knock last week but was fit to start. Caused plenty of problems down the left and took his goal very well.

 

Subs

Bruce Bignell
Calm in possession at the back and made some vital tackles. Helped with getting Fatboys over the line for the win.
Ross Joannides
Great to have him back after a few months out. Came on at full back and did a great job in helping the Fatboys to see out the win.
Simon Old’Brien
The veteran winger had an action filled 35 minutes when he was introduced. Got up and down the left hand and took a ball to the face when on the floor injured. He then shockingly decided to moan about it. The cheek.
Kevin Ticehurst
As introductions to games go, this could have hardly been better. He provided lots of energy and his wonder strike was superb. We will be hearing about this for a while and rightfully so!

 

Goals

Clayton, assist Chappell
Knott, assist Davie
Ticehurst, assist Chappell

 

Man-of-the-Match

Lots of players had a claim this week, but after a few weeks out injured it goes to Sam Wilson for a faultless performance at full back.