Hassocks Fatboys Reserves 8-4 Rioz Rovers
For those reading this and thinking that Hassocks Fatboys Reserves decided to get a game of cricket in before the summer ends, do not be alarmed .
Fatboys 8-4 Rioz Rovers was in fact the score line on the opening day of the 2020-21 Sussex Sunday Football League season, representing an incredible start to the new campaign for Reece Wickwar’s side.
Pre season had its ups and downs. The ups including dismantling Division Three side Crawley Royals and beating former manager Jamie Stratton’s Sands United. The downs involved some heavy defeats and most worryingly, injuries to a number of players.
Reece was without Ali Jenkins, Sam Wilson, Justin Parker, Luke Vick and Ando Knott of last season’s squad. Tom Pinnock has re-joined the club but is on the treatment table along with marquee capture Neil Kane. Nick Davie was added to that list on the Saturday after sustaining an injury for Lindfield.
The club though have enjoyed a strong summer recruitment drive and even with all those absentees, Reece had a very good squad to choose from at Clayton.
22-year-old Nick Jones lined up in goal with a back four of Rob Lloyd, Bruce Bignell, Glenn Clayton and debutant Alex Williams. The midfield three consisted of Des Balderdash, Gregg Chappell and Stuart Brown with Rob Ellarby, Joe Tolhurst and Chris Clayton making up the front line.
On the bench were Kevin Ticehurst and new signing Josh Bond. Reece named himself among the substitutes as he too was carrying a knock while Josh Evetts managed to injure himself in the warm up.
Davie too attempted the warm up but he failed a fitness test, telling Reece: “I can’t kick the football, which is a bit of a problem.” Reece could have been forgiven for wondering how that was any different to every other Sunday.
Rioz came flying out the blocks like a bull in a china shop. Reece had warned his players to be prepared for this, saying that the excitement of being a new team would have them very eager to make a good impression.
It did not take them long to make that impression. A long ball bounced over debutant Williams and the Rioz striker was quick to pounce, firing an unstoppable strike into the bottom corner past 22-year-old Jones.
Things went from bad to worse as almost instantly, another bounce which no Fatboys player dealt with left the Rioz striker to nip between Glen and Bruce to make it 2-0 with just two minutes played.
This was only the beginning of the drama. Straight from kick off, Brown set Tolhurst away down the wing with the debutant earning a corner. Brown took said corner and his delivery caused carnage in the Rioz penalty area where Ellarby was on hand to smash home. 1-2 after four minutes.
Conceding simply seemed to spur Rioz on more. They quickly restored their two goal cushion through the dangerous number nine who busted through the Fatboys defence and smashed past Jones to put the visitors 3-1 up.
Again, the Fatboys responded well. Smart play from Lloyd sent Ellarby on his way down the right wing. Ellarby’s pace and strength was too much for the Rioz defence to cope with and he found Chris Clayton who tucked in with a lovely finish on the half volley.
At this point, some of the injured Fatboys were beginning to turn up to watch and given that the game was five minutes old, naturally assumed that Bod had just given the hosts the lead.
Nobody could believe that the current score was in fact Fatboys 2-3 Rioz. Luke Vick in particular was furious, shouting: “I got delayed by 10 minutes trying to get to Costa, only for it to be shut and I’ve missed five fucking goals!”
Those on the side lines did not have to wait long to see just how ridiculous this game had already become. Rioz broke through and Williams took drastic measures in bringing down the winger, leaving the referee with no choice other than to point to the spot.
Former England Under 16 striker Tim Rivers (or so we think) stepped up but his shot was superbly tipped onto the post by young Jones. Another penalty save to add to his fine collection.
The stop from Jones gave the Fatboys more belief and it was again Ellarby causing havoc down the right which led to the score line becoming 3-3. He left the full back for dead before playing a pass across goal which left Tolhurst with a tap in he couldn’t miss… actually, he did his best to miss by spooning the shot into the top corner.
Tolhurst admitted after the game: ““I absolutely shat myself after I connected with it.” Not words you want to hear in a Covid safe environment but thankfully the ball went in and the new signing was off the mark for the season.
Being pegged back once again seem to deflate Rioz and their hopes of regaining the lead were dealt a blow through a controversial red card. Brown released Ellarby who evaded the defence but not the Rioz goalkeeper, who mistimed his attempt to get the ball and scythed the Fatboys forward down outside the box.
Although quite clearly a foul, to the surprise of everyone at Clayton, the referee also decided to dish out a very harsh sending off. The goalkeeper departed by dramatically throwing his gloves onto the children’s pitch, leaving Rioz to face over an hour with 10 men.
Another foul on the edge of the area then saw Chappell caught as he attempted to burst through. Brown fancied his chances from the resulting free kick and when Rioz’s replacement goalkeeper could only parry, it was unfortunate for him that he did so straight into the chest of Chappell. The ball bounced off the Fatboys striker and into the back of the net for 4-3 with a little over 20 minutes on the clock.
The sending off and conceding such an unlucky goal seemed to give Rioz a new lease of live and they were soon level at 4-4. Williams entered the book for a foul within shooting range of the Fatboys goal and the resulting free kick was emphatically despatched.
Back up the other end the game went with Tolhurst whipping in a cross which Bod could not quite connect with. It didn’t mater though as Chappell was on hand at the back post to smash home from close range. 5-4 with 33 minutes gone.
There was still time for one more talking point before the break. A nice pass from the Rioz central midfielder caused panic in the box, resulting in a coming together between Jones and the striker.
It appeared as though Jones kicked out at the Rioz player, a moment that thankfully went unnoticed by the referee. One dog walker passing by described the incident as “utterly pathetic” with Wickwar telling the Mid Sussex Times that he was ashamed and in no mood to comment on the matter.
Wickwar made two changes at half time as Ellarby and Balderdash were given a rest. Reece brought himself on as well as new signing Bond for his Fatboys debut.
After the madness of the first half, it was always going to take a lot for the second 45 minutes to match the end to end carnage. The Fatboys looked a lot more relaxed at the back which helped, in particular Williams after Reece was pretty much on his knees at the break begging the debutant to stop lunging in.
Rioz’s number nine had been a lively presence throughout, so it helped the Fatboys cause somewhat when he was sin binned for complaining a little bit too much about what he felt was an elbow to head from Clayton.
An interesting debate then took place on the side lines in which Davie tried to explain to Mark Potter that a sin bin card is actually a slightly darker shade of yellow. Thankfully, Ali Jenkins was on hand to stop this farce by interrupting, stopping Davie from talking any more nonsense.
Wckwar introduced Evetts at full back in place of Williams and Bod was replaced by Ellarby who made an instant impact on his return to the field by leading one of the finest counter attacking goals the Reserves have scored.
Jones collected a cross and threw it to Brown who sent Ellarby away. His perfect low cross was finished expertly by Chappell to wrap up his first Fatboys hat-trick.
Chappell’s treble came exactly a year from his debut, when he turned up still pissed at East Brighton Park, played with a comedy moustache drawn on his face and went onto miss about 100 chances. What a turnaround!
Given the way the game had done so far, the Fatboys knew they probably needed more than to be leading 6-4. Ellarby led the charge to find a seventh and it was his perfect cross that found Wickwar who connected with a sweet volley.
Brown was by now desperate to get in on the act, especially as he is within sight of his 100th Fatboys goal. He had a great chance to move onto 91 when Tolhurst whizzed past his man and crossed but Brown somehow put the ball wide from a matter of yards. Brown did much better next time he got the ball, beating four men and lashing home to make it 8-4.
That was too much for one Rioz player to take and he entered the sin bin for a word too many to the referee. Despite the visitors ending with only nine men, there were no further goals on what was one of the craziest mornings of football ever seen at Clayton.
Hassocks Fatboys Reserves (4-3-3)
Nick Jones
Nothing he could do about the goals conceded and made an excellent penalty save. Could be facing a disciplinary hearing after the alleged kick out at the Rioz striker.
Rob Lloyd
Hit some lovely passes up the line and into midfield and showed a good understanding with Ellarby. Was probably the only man not losing his hair in a bonkers first half.
Bruce Bignell
Wickwar pleaded with him to start heading the ball in the second half and that led to a much better showing. Displayed his famous stamina by casually sprinting forward to join the odd attack.
Glen Clayton
Found himself up against a very good strike force but kept his cool and made some vital interventions. A real threat from attacking set pieces too.
Alex Williams
An interesting debut in which he was lucky not to be sent off. Much more relaxed after the break and was all smiles and laughter with his new teammates in the pub afterwards.
Gregg Chappell
A poacher’s hat-trick from midfield. Took all three of his finishes extremely well and his work rate was phenomenal. One of many Man-of-the-Match contenders.
Jon Kelly
Picked up a knock early on and was subsequently substituted. In the time he was on the pitch he did a fine job of shielding the back four.
Stuart Brown
A late call up due to injuries. His energy and experience was vital in the middle of the park and he notched a well deserved goal for his efforts.
Rob Ellarby
Carried on his outstanding pre-season form since arriving from Hull City. A competitive debut with four assists is one to remember.
Chris Clayton
Produced a lovely finish for his goal and caused the Rioz defence plenty of problems. We were even treated to the sight of Bod in some cricketing whites as he zoomed off to Chailey for a 40 over game in the afternoon.
Joe Tolhurst
His pace troubled Rioz all morning and he looks to be an excellent addition for the Reserves. Got the goal his showing deserved despite doing his best to put the ball over the bar from two yards.
Subs
Josh Bond
Superb debut. He was calm on the ball, won every 50-50 and threw his body on the line at times. His performance in midfield was made even more impressive when he revealed afterwards that he is actually a defender.
Reece Wickwar
Started himself on the bench after picking up a knock on Saturday. It did not take him long to get involved in the action once he decided to come on, netting a lovely volley to get off the mark.
Josh Evetts
Every season Wickwar seems to reinvent a player in a new position. Evetts as a full back looks to be 2020-21’s project and he looked good there during his time on the pitch.
Kevin Ticehurst
Sprayed the ball about well when he came on. His summer of running from Coldean to the Palace Pier paid off towards the end as he still had plenty of energy to get back and track.
Sussex Sunday League Division Four
Sunday 6th September 2020
Clayton Green
Goals
Rob Ellarby
Assist Stuart Brown
Chris Clayton
Assist Rob Ellarby
Joe Tolhurst
Assist Rob Ellarby
Gregg Chappell
Assist Stuart Brown
Chris Clayton
Assist Joe Tolhurst
Gregg Chappell
Assist Rob Ellarby
Reece Wickwar
Assist Rob Ellarby
Gregg Chappell
Assist Reece Wickwar
Man-of-the-Match
A few contenders and a hard one to choose this week. It goes to Rob Ellarby for his superb play out wide and the constant issues he caused to the Rioz defence. Four assists and a goal isn’t a bad debut.