“It wasn’t time wasting; 2 grown men were incapable of taking a throw”

Friday night football came live from Waterhall 3G where Hassocks Fatboys Reserves took on Rioz Rovers in the Sussex Sunday Division 4 Cup Semi Finals.

You would think this prestigious tournament would see availability go through the roof with excitement… well, sadly for manager Reece Wickwar, it was quite the opposite as he had only 13 players available at 10am of the morning of the game.

A busy schedule (and possibly pubs reopening) has taken its toll on the squad, plus there was the small matter of Sunday’s game against the same opponents ending Rioz 9-2 Hassocks Fatboys Reserves.

13 soon jumped to 15 after Wickwar put out a plea for further bodies, answered by Glen Clayton and Sam Harding who made welcome returns to the matchday squad for the first time in 2021.

Harding joined Mark Potter, Josh Evetts and Kevin Ticehurst on the bench. Fatboys legend Scott McCarthy made a rare reserves appearance in-between the sticks with a back four of Nick Davie, Alex Williams, Glen and Simon Old’Brien. The midfield three consisted of Andy Brown, Tom Pinnock and Stuart Brown, with Reece Wickwar, Chris Clayton and Neil Kane making up the front three.

The winds were torturous to say the least with a 50mph gale blowing sideways across the pitch. This fact was relayed to the troops by Ticehurst who arrived at Waterhall a mere 25 minutes before the meet time, reporting back that it was indeed very windy outside.

I think anyone living in Sussex could have stepped outside their house and had a pretty good guess that Waterhall – known for its famous windy conditions at the best of times – might be a bit blustery. Or any player (bar maybe SOB and Spisey) could just simply check the weather app on their phone.

Funnily enough, the last time the reserves played in such strong winds was when they crashed out of the same cup at the semi final stage two seasons ago in a 4-3 defeat against Lewes Associates at East Brighton Park.

The less said about that game the better. Thankfully, this time around there was no Davie crying about a faked injury, Jonesy getting lobbed or former Charlton Athletic midfielder Anthony Barness running the show to almost force Luke Vick into retirement.

Both teams struggled in the conditions early on with Rioz eventually mustering the first opportunity. Tim Rivers danced through the Fatboys midfield but strong pressure from Williams forced the former England Under 16 international into a shot that was never troubling McCarthy.

The Fatboys then started to seize control and had two very good chances to take an early lead. A long throw from Wickwar found the head of Bod and his flick on was met by Kane but the winger couldn’t find the connection he was hoping for.

Minutes later a wonderful cross from Stuart Brown found brother Andy springing the offside trap. He chipped the keeper, only for his effort to come back off the bar. Andy then just about failed to force the rebound home when given a second bite of the cherry. That dreaded word … FUSTRATION!

The Fatboys continued to grow into the game with Williams and Davie calmly playing the ball out from the back. Andy then eased past the Rioz midfield before playing a peach of a pass to set Stuart free and he was the coolest man in Waterhall to strike the Fatboys into a 1-0 lead.

This spurred Rioz on and they grew into the game. The left winger had a couple of runs which tested out Davie, one of which resulted in Davie committing a foul for which he was lucky to escape a booking. He was also lucky that the resulting freekick was carried by the wind just out of the reach of the striker.

Chances for Rioz were restricted to long range efforts after that, thanks to the Fatboys midfield three working tirelessly both in tracking back and trying to support Bod. From one such charge, Andy danced through but his shot was high and wide of both the football goal posts and the rugby goal posts located behind.

Sadly, with the clock four minutes away from half time, Rioz managed to get through and level the scores. A cross from the left hand side appeared to find the Rioz striker in an offside position but no flag was raised and the striker produced a top notch finish giving McCarthy no chance.

As ever, Wickwar’s passionate half time words had a strong impact on the Fatboys who started the second half well. They now had the wind slightly in their favour and adapted to conditions a lot better than Rioz. Kane was beginning to cause the right back all sorts of problems and his pass to Stuart saw the younger Brown fire his shot just over the bar.

The Fatboys continued to pile on the pressure and some beautiful play by Wickwar, Andy and Stuart saw the latter’s pass set Kane through on goal. The wind made Kane’s run a bit more difficult as he was nearly blown sideways but he still managed to just beat the keeper to the ball, chipping smartly into the bottom corner to make it 2-1.

Kane was torturing the Rioz defence now. His pace and skill saw him cut inside the area and the Rioz defender took drastic action and rugby tackled him to the floor.

This presented Bod with the opportunity to give the Fatboys a two goal cushion and despite the Rioz players appearing rather confident that he would sky it, Bod calmly tucked the ball home. Suddenly, the lead was 3-1.

With 30 minutes still to play, the Fatboys knew there was still a lot of work to be done to secure a spot in the final. They almost added a fourth to kill the game off in bizarre circumstances when Stuart went for an ambitious long ball to Kane.

Despite it being a pretty terrible pass, the ambition nearly paid off when the wind helped the ball evade not only Kane and the entire Rioz defence, but nearly the goalkeeper too who just about managed to get a finger tip to divert it behind for a corner.

Rioz set up a nervous final 10 minutes when a long ball flew into the area. Andy, Williams and Davie all had chances to clear which they failed to take, leaving the Rioz striker to pounce and again ruthlessly smash past McCarthy to make it 3-2.

The momentum was very much with Rioz now and they soon began to accuse the Fatboys of time wasting as every time a green throw was awarded, both full backs refused point blank to it.

This was not actually a time wasting tactic; neither Davie nor Old’Brien are capable of taking a legal throw in. Nobody could blame Rioz for thinking two grown men should be able to doing something children at under eight level are taught, with poor Andy instead clocking up even more distance by running side-to-side to take throws.

With one final throw of the dice, Rioz swapped wingers which was credit to the performances of Davie and Old’Brien for keeping their respective opponents quiet.

Unfortunately, the switch worked and a bombardment of crosses began flooding the Fatboys box. From one, McCarthy came and made a bold claim. The Rioz striker was not giving up and wiped out the goalkeeper with the ball rolling into the net.

All the Rioz players agreed it was a clear foul bar the striker, who went onto have quite the debate with the referee. The striker ended his rant by claiming it would be karma if Rioz went on to be victorious.

Little did the striker know that he would have even more reason to feel aggrieved minutes later when beating the offside trap, only to be pulled back by Glen just outside the area when haring towards goal.

Again, the Rioz striker lost his mind, this time because he was adamant that he was in the box and it should have been a penalty. His teammates were less convinced and tried to shepherd their striker away from the ref who, after a quick check with his assistant, awarded a free kick.

The resulting free kick sailed just over the bar, although the Rioz supporters thought they had found a dramatic late equaliser when McCarthy crashed into the net to make it ripple. The joy of the fans was short-lived as McCarthy began jogging very slowly to retrieve the ball, which had by now blown into the corner.

There were genuine celebrations to be had from the travelling faithful from Surrey with seconds remaining. A long ball in caused all kinds of confusion in the wind and the Rioz centre back justified the decision to send him up front for some aerial presence by heading home unmarked to level the tie.

And so it went to penalties. The Fatboys were confident going into spot kicks having beaten Whitehawk United in the previous round of the competition, as well as Kingston Broadway several seasons ago when the veteran Jules Clay marked his 61st birthday with the winning penalty.

Rioz won the toss and took first, comfortably despatching past McCarthy. Andy followed suit, Rioz put their next effort over the ruby posts for three points with Kane making no mistake from his spot kick to give the Fatboys a 2-1 lead with two penalties each taken.

The third Rioz penalty was the best of the lot and then Clayton calmly struck for his second successful spot kick of the evening.

When Rioz sent their fourth penalty high and wide, Stuart had the chance to send the Fatboys to the final. Once Stuart realised the shootout now hinged on him, he began screaming in a high-pitched voice that Wickwar should take it instead.

Wickwar was having none of this and so Stuart gingerly made his way to the spot. Thankfully, he had no reason to be so flustered as his penalty left the Rioz goalkeeper with no chance, sending the Fatboys into the final against Divino Royals at Lancing/Ringmer/or Newhaven.