The Nick nicks one as Fatboys fall in game of two halves

A quick check on Trip Advisor informs us that Luna Rossa restaurant in Newhaven gets a pleasant 4.5 rating. Well, it’s fair to say that Hassocks Fatboys Reserves performance against their Sunday league side didn’t quite match those dizzy heights…but it was very much a tale of two halves in a high scoring affair.

Boss Jamie Stratton was forced to make a number of changes following the 3-3 draw against Inpulse on the opening day. Fullback Kevin Ticehurst made his competitive Fatboys debut, midfielder Kane Wright came in for a rare ‘local’ game following his move to Eastbourne, while Sam Lowe and Berty Lloyd were promoted from the firsts to the reserve team to add ‘beef’ to the midfield against a team that had won 8-0 on matchday one. Glen Clayton also made his first start of the season on the left side of midfield.

The majority of Stratton’s matchday squad had a smooth journey to Newhaven, somehow arriving an hour before kick off having experienced the delightful villages of Piddinghoe and Rodmell along the way. However, they would be absolutely stunned to find the Luna Rossa side already out on the pitch, complete with cones, engaging in a full and intense warm up for their fixture against Hassocks Fatboys Reserves. Ridiculous scenes at 9.25 on a Sunday morning. 

Stratton made the understandable decision to adopt a previously successful all-out defence formation against the early league leaders who were clearly taking this one seriously. But he held his hands up at half time and acknowledged that it hadn’t really worked, with lone forward Jake Graham clearly isolated up front and enjoying little possession. Graham’s one chance, following a delightful through ball from Lloyd, was well saved by the Rossa keeper.

Despite Stratton’s admission that he’d possibly made a mistake, it was clearly not his fault the side were 4-0 down. In truth, the four goals were all sloppy. The first was a corner – going in at the near post despite a defender being there to stop just that. The second was a ricochet flying into the net from an unfortunate Jon Kelly clearance. To be honest, the third looked offside but came from giving the ball away cheaply, as did the fourth.

It really wasn’t a good showing for the Fatboys, and frankly it was lucky to be only four; Potter lucky to escape giving away a blatant pen, Kane hooking the ball away from the goal line when it appeared in, and Nick Clayton having picked up a clear backpass from Stuart Young, who had dropped back into the left back position following his impressive midfield display the previous week. In truth, It could and should have been more, and Fatboys were grateful from a string of saves from keeper Clayton, who continues to shine between the sticks in place of the injured Nick Jones.

There were few first half highlights for the Fatboys, beyond frequent observations that this was the flattest pitch seen in the sides history, Ticehurst pointing out the nearby Fort and Kelly delightfully informing the side that a nearby ferry was set to depart for Dieppe in the middle of the game. Wonderful. The Nick was the pick of the bunch, having made a number of fine stops as Fatboys faced one way traffic.

After some strong half time words and a tactical half time reshuffle by Stratton, Fatboys went 4-3-3, with brothers Glen and Chris Clayton taking up attacking positions and Ticehurst and Lowe making way. Bod added much needed aerial ability to the side who were struggling on the ball.

Despite this offensive strategy, Rossa quickly added three more to their tally.  Goal five came pretty much straight after the restart, with a huge hole opening up between defensive pairing Kelly and Ross Joannides, who were having a busy afternoon of things. Goal six was probably the only ‘good’ Newhaven strike of the game following a pretty passing move, and goal seven was an absolute freak – the ball taking a bobble over the hands of Clayton, despite the otherwise flat pitch, causing a solid five minutes of hysterical laughter from Balderdash at his friends’ expense.

Bizarrely, it was at this point something strange happened. Possibly inspired by the Kelly laughing fit, the Fatboys started knocking the ball around and actually played some football that resembled the impressive showing against Inpulse the previous week. G Clayton and Lloyd were getting forward and Graham and C Clayton were linking well. It was the latter who pulled a goal back for the Fatboys from the spot, his 100th goal in Sunday league we are reliably informed, after his brothers strike was adjudged to have hit a hand. After that it was one way traffic with Kelly getting in on the act, nodding home at the back post following good work from Graham. 

It was at this point Stratton went for it, putting Kenny Tinnion on and reintroducing Lowe to give the side a more attacking threat, while Pete West came on to help out in the fullback position. West could have been in the book within moments, for what can only be described as a ‘textbook’ Pete West challenge with his first touch. 

However, it was not from attack that a third goal appeared, but a much more unlikely source. The Nick was already a shoe-in for man of the match, when on the 75th minute a long kick up field took a bit of wind, one bounce and Tinnion cleverly shielded the ball from the Rossa keeper to allow it to drop in for the Nick’s first Fatboys goal and probable goal of the season. It was also the first time a Fatboys goalkeeper has ever scored from between the posts. Wild scenes unfolded, with The Nick finding himself bundled by most of the defence and another five minutes of solid laughter from Kelly.

The Rossa side were understandably shell-shocked by this turn of events, and seconds later Tinnion himself made it 7-4, tucking in the rebound after fine work from Lloyd. With 12 minutes to go Stratton, wondered if it was really ‘back on’. Graham’s long throws were causing all kinds of problems and the aerial combination of Bod and Tinnion went close on a number of occasions and Fatboys pressed in the closing stages.  It was almost Pulis-like from Fatboys – not pretty, but bloody effective.

Sadly though, it was not  meant to be, and despite Tinnion striking the post the game fizzled out in amongst a number of ludicrous refereeing decisions which caused Rossa and both managers to lose the plot. It is hard to put Stratton-rage into words, but it’s fair to say it was highly entertaining for all concerned to witness him suffer a complete and utter mental breakdown at the hands of a referee for the second week in a row.

Lots of positives then for the Fatboys despite the defeat – something that would have been unthinkable at 7-0 down. Previous reserve teams would have gone down with a whimper and shipped double figures, but this side seems to be made of more than that.

Most positive of all is the way they seem to be scoring goals this year, despite the absence so far of attackers Wickwar and Pinnock, who may find it harder to get back in the side than they would ever have previously imagined. There really does seem to be strength in depth in all positions, even at goalkeeper level, and that can only be good for the campaign ahead.