9-5 not a way to make a living
The Ashes may still be three weeks away, but the people of Sussex had their appetite whetted for a winter of cricket as Hassocks Fatboys reached 5-9 in their allotted 90 minutes against AFC Aymer at the Waterhall Oval.
This wildly unpredictable game had it all. Plenty of runs, a controversial umpiring decision and a real life Satyr – a half-man-half-goat creature from Greek mythology – watching on from the boundary rope.
The Fatboys were in good spirits in the pavilion before the game. The new club branded hoodies had finally arrived which meant a relaxed warm up as people tried to avoid getting dirty and we were also bouyed by the debut of Josh Hawkes.
Hawkesy has made history by becoming the first player to move from Pink Flamingos to the Fatboys and he was giving a standing ovation by his new team mates before the game, with Dan Jacques looking particularly impressed. Mike Atherton, reporting on the game for The Times, said, “We’ve not seen happiness in Jacquesy’s eyes like that since last week when he was parked outside a school at 3pm with a bag of Haribo in the glove compartment.”
The pitch looked to all the world to be a seamers wicket with plenty of green on top and a generous helping of cloud cover while the key went all the way in suggesting some moisture at least. It was an important toss to win and Andy Brown did so, electing to go towards the Waterworks End first.
The Fatboys flew out of the traps and dominated Aymer, creating a succession of opportunities for Jordan Walsh, Andy Brown and Dave Linehan. It was Walsh who opened up the scoring in the 14th minute, latching onto a long hop over the top from Michael Russell and delivering the ball through the gate of the Aymer goalkeeper for 1-0. That took Walsh onto four runs for the campaign, meaning he needs only 11 more to get his name on Scott McCarthy’s honours board.
Conceding that run seemed to wake Aymer up and soon they were level. Aymer have been busy on the recruitment front in recent weeks, adding Adam Dine to their squad which means that they now have the two top run scorers from the Premier Division last season in their side along with Adam Burton. It was the latter of those two who made it 1-1, picking up a loose ball and rounding McCarthy to level things up.
Gary Whittington has spent the last few weeks in the second XI attempting to pick up a modicum of fitness. The absence of Jason Gander and Chris Britton gave him the chance to step back up to the front side for only his second start of the season and it isn’t just match fitness he has picked up from the reserves, but also a speciality for run outs.
This was a run out that his idols for the skill in the reserves such as Martyn Buxton and Sam Wilson would’ve been proud of, Whittington jumping to block a shot but only succeeding in chesting it in the opposite direction to that which McCarthy was heading for one leg bye to make the score 1-2.
The Fatboys response was instant with Jacques steaming into the box to sweep home a cut back from Brown who had done brilliantly far out at fine leg. That made it 2-2 but there was no time to gather breath as Aymer added three more wickets before the interval.
There was nothing that could be done about Aymer’s third, a breathtaking cover drive into the bottom corner. But the fourth was controversial to say the least and introduced us to the aforementioned satyr. An Aymer delivery was knocked back across goal to a player completely free in the box. There was not one Fatboy between him and the goal when he nudged it him with appeals for a front foot no ball loud and vigorous. The leg side umpire ruled it out but the umpire, after consultation with the television umpire, allowed it to stand for 2-4.
This greatly delighted an Aymer supporter on the sideline, who began laughing like a goat when the goal was awarded and shouting abuse at Daniel Pidgeon. Unfortunately, in between these grunts, his eating of grass from the side of the pitch and butting of things we couldn’t actually understand what he was saying. Still, it is nice to see that cricket – once considered the preserve of the upper and middle classes – is attracting a far broader support these days, even if it that may include the odd delinquent.
Pidgeon’s unhappiness wasn’t confined to that controversial piece of umpiring or the satyr’s actions and in the final over of the first innings he gave away a wide on the edge of the box with the Aymer player taking full advantage, sending his free hit over the wall and straight through the hands of wicket keeper McCarthy who dropped a dolly.
2-5 as the players retired to the pavilion for tea but given what had gone on in that chaotic first innings, the Fatboys felt there were plenty more runs in it for both sides. With Russell and Lloyd beginning to offer more support from deep, the Fatboys began the second innings on top and the more run theory was proven right by Pidgeon within five minutes of the players returning to the field, finding space in the crease to knock him a perfect Linehan delivery.
That at silenced the goat for all of five minutes, for Pidgeon repeated his trick at the other end by knocking his own bails off when heading an Aymer delivery past McCarthy for 3-6. Aymer added wickets seven and eight in quick succession, one another excellent cover driver that was reminiscent of the third for 3-7 and then the eighth arrived when replacement fielder Rhyan Thwaites and Whittington couldn’t deal with a high ball and the Aymer player nipped in to score. Thwaites and Whittington were not helped by Brown, Hawkes and Jacques who had all lost their footing and were lying on the floor as if auditioning for a part in Platoon.
This goal also brought a quite stunning McCarthy Meltdown for all present with the umpire warning the Fatboys wicket keeper against his language which was contrary to the spirit of cricket. There could be little argument given that he had bellowed at the top of his voice “SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH” to Hayley on the sidelines while stood less than 20 yards away from an under 12s game on the adjacent pitch.
McCarthy made a good stop from a Burton volley after that, only for Burton to pick up the pieces and take the ninth wicket of the day which sparked some attacking batting from the Fatboys and in particular the fearless young duo of Kieran Poulton and Ananda Hoque who had been thrown into the attack.
Poulton rounded off his second man-of-the-match display in succession by tucking away a Jacques delivery to make it 4-9 and then provided supplier for Hoque who got some great reverse swing to take the ball away from the Aymer goalkeeper for 5-9.
Cricket, bloody hell.
Line up
Scott McCarthy
At fault for one of the nine goals. Had a quite brilliant meltdown in the 2nd half
Rob Lloyd
Difficult game to be involved in the defence for. Did some good work going forward in 2nd half
Daniel Pidgeon
An interesting morning. Scored at both ends & got in an argument with the Aymer fan who resembled a goat
Gary Whittington
Thought playing in the game was stressful? Gaz had to go to a wedding fair after
Michael Russell
Again the best defender on show. Shoed great vision to get an assist for the opener
Kieran Poulton
Second consecutive MOM showing rounded off with a goal and an assist
Dan Jacques
Goal and an assist and he did well not to throw up given he’d been out the night before
Josh Hawkes
Quite the game to make his debut in. Some neat balls and a coupe of chances
Dave Linehan
Excellent set piece delivery for Pidgeon’s header. Couple of good runs on the left
Andy Brown
Set up Jacques’ goal & tried to keep driving the team on until the end
Jordan Walsh
Another goal for the collection, nicely rounding the keeper. 11 until tattoo time
Subs
Ananda Hoque
His pace caused chaos up top and was rewarded with his first goal for the club
Rhyan Thwaites
Good to see him back rampaging up the right wing in a 20 minute cameo
Peter Martin
Unused
Man of the Match
Hard to give a man of the match when you’ve lost 9-5, but Kieran Poulton impressed again with a goal and an assist in his first full 90 minutes for the club
Goals
Walsh 14 (assist Russell), Jacques 26 (assist Brown), Pidgeon 49 (assist Linehan), Poulton 78 (assist Jacques), Hoque 85 (assist Poulton)