They may have officially retired from the Sussex Sunday League at the end of last season, but Pink Flamingos have been unable to resist the lure of one final B2116 Derby with Hassocks Fatboys.
It’s not hard to imagine why. Only once in the five previous meetings between the two sides did Flamingos fail to win. Last time the two crossed paths, Pinks hit double figures. And if all that wasn’t enough, the promise of a BBQ at Keymer and Hassocks Sports and Social Club afterwards sold it.
The BBQ will probably be the highlight of the day, given that the game comes the day after Pride. The Fatboys have seen some spectacularly shocking performances even by their high standards in the immediate aftermath of Brighton’s biggest party, so couple that with playing against some of the best players that the Green Army face and it could be carnage.
Still, the squad represents a stronger one than that which went down 10-1 in March. There is no Jamie Stratton, for example. Unavailability and some ludicrous Invitational Cup eligibility rules meant that reserve team manager Stratton was pitched in for his first team debut that morning at Braypool, with one commentator describing his performance as being “like watching a Make a Wish competition winner.”
Stratton himself summed things up remarkably well. “If you ignore the fact that the man I was meant to be marking scored twice in the 10 minutes I was on, I think I did OK.” Ever modest, Stratton forgot to mention the fact he actually managed to nutmeg a Flamingo and produced a weird backwards run from one side of the pitch to the other, reminiscent of a crab.
Jon Ballantyne, Rob Lloyd, John Humphrey, Chris Britton and Ryan Collins are all set for their first appearances for the first team of pre-season. Charlie Wyre, Andy and Stuart Brown’s young cousin, who impressed in the Louisa Lytton 11-a-side Tournament of two weeks previously is also set for a run out. Wyre’s place in the squad reduces the average age, as does that of 22-year-old reserve team goalkeeper Nick Jones who is coming along for experience.
Having begged for a spot in the squad and bought Scott McCarthy a pint in the Fountain Head a couple of weeks ago, Nick Davie is also included on the condition he brings a fully washed reserve team kit with him. Given the shocking scenes that emanated last season during the Kitgate episode, nobody is holding their breath.
Kick off is at the slightly later time of midday at Nine Acre Field, Ardingly. The BBQ at the Club is set to run from 1.30pm right through until the start of the Community Shield Final, so if you can’t make the football please try and get to the Club for a burger afterwards.
Squad: Scott McCarthy, Nick Jones, Rhyan Thwaites, Jon Ballantyne, Rob Lloyd, Nick Davie, John Humphrey, Chris Britton, Dave Linehan, Andy Brown, Stuart Brown, Charlie Wyre, Ryan Collins, Jack Lewis, Jordan Walsh, Daryl McLean, Joe Brockes.