Sam Wilson has become the fourth player in Hassocks Fatboys to make 100 appearances in the famous green shirt.
The popular defender reached the landmark in the reserves 6-1 Sussex Sunday League Division Three victory over Amici Athletic, joining Scott McCarthy, Andy Brown and Mark Potter in the exclusive club of Fatboys centurions.
Wilson first played for the Fatboys in February 2012 in a friendly against Pink Flamingos Reserves. “I’ll come along and do 20 minutes as that’s all I’m fit for,” Wilson said in response to the offer of a run out from manager Daniel Lawrence.
Needless to say, that didn’t go according to plan and he ended up playing for 75 minutes, firstly at centre back and then at right back with the match report decreeing that he “won everything”. Wilson subsequently signed for the club from FC Deportivo that summer. “There is no doubt in mind that the Fatboys is where I want to play my football,” he told the Mid Sussex Times on the completion of the deal.
There probably was a lot of doubt a week later however when Wilson, as the only tee total member of the squad, witnessed on his first social:
Wilson went onto play 10 times in his first season with the Fatboys, helping the club to the runners up spot in Sussex Sunday League Division Five. It was with the creation of the reserve side in 2014 that he really came to life in the green shirt, going onto make 71 starts and 18 substitute appearances for the second string over the next five seasons.
In that time, he’s been used as a full back, a central defender and even as a holding midfielder which led to unproven accusations that manager Jamie Stratton had a narcotics problem. Wilson claimed his first ever assist in 11-a-side football in the 2016-17 season, a result of his swashbuckling raids up the wing from full back. There is said to be nothing more beautiful or fearsome in the Sussex Sunday League than the sight of Wilson taking flight from fullback.
Reserve team captain Nick Jones picked up on this theme when asked for his best memories of playing alongside Wilson. “My favourite thing about playing with Sam, other than his ability to score own goals, is his attacking style from full back.”
“He’s also a humble and down to Earth member of the team. Take the time when he was approaching his 50th game for the club. Martyn Buxton had achieved the landmark a few weeks previously but had been dropping little hints for months about it coming up and how it would be nice to celebrate it.”
“Sam in contrast said nothing and so we got him a load of balloons, posed for photos and even demanded he was captain for the day. Buxton didn’t get anything, much to his dismay.”
When pushed further on Wilson’s penchant for own goals, Jones said, “My favourite was in the final game of the season against County Oak in 2017 when Sam found the stanchion from 25 yards. An unbelievable end to the season.”
Current reserve team boss Reece Wickwar said, “Sam Wilson has been a stalwart and is the embodiment of what Fatboys is about. He always makes sure everyone can make the game and training as we’re in the strange position of being a team of adult men, only three of whom can drive.”
“He is also excellent value for a ludicrous moment and as a result is my centre back who, out of 100 games, I think I’ve seen head the ball about five times. He has scored some quite frankly ridiculous own goals but nothing will ever top the infamous one of him top binsing the ball into his own goal from 30 yards versus AFC Falmer.”
Long term associate Simon O’Brien said, “I suppose if I had to name my favourite Sam memory, it would be the highlight reel that runs through my head replaying all his own goals, especially the one from 35 yards against County Oak. Whether left foot, right foot, head, shoulders, knees, toes or perineum (the bit between the ball bag and anus), there isn’t a part of the body Sam is afraid to score with.”
“Never in the history of human achievement has a man been so dedicated to his craft, and brought such joy, happiness and uncontrollable laughter to so many people. One of the greats.”
Stratton managed Wilson for more games than anyone else, giving him an abundance of highlights to pick from for his favourite memories of the full back. The sheep-headed former manager settled on one.
“It was a gusty spring day in March 2017. We had got ourselves into the improbable position of possibly being promoted with a minus goal difference and needed a win to get promoted. We were kicking with the wind at 1-0 down, when Sam turned on the edge of the box and hit an unstoppable 40 yarder screamer into the top corner of our own goal. The fact that it hung in the air for five minutes and went into the wind past Jonesy meant that both teams spent the next 20 minutes of the game in uncontrollable laughter.”
Here’s what the rest of his team mates had to say:
“Sam’s been a great team mate and I love playing alongside him. That own goal from 45 yards against County Oak was something special though.” – Kenny Tinnion.
“A stalwart of the Fatboys and a player who works harder than anyone else. He’ll always be remembered for his own goals though, like the one from 50 yards against County Oak.” – Chris Clayton.
“He does a great job as team coach driver and he does a great job scoring own goals. When he beat Jones from 55 yards it was something special.” – Mark Potter.
“Once I’ve finished my latest book on social media, I’m going to write a book about the best own goals ever. Sam’s from 60 yards against County Oak is up there.” – Jules Clay.
“I’ve never laughed so much as when he scored an own goal from 65 yards.” – Desmond Balderdash.
Wilson did at least use his 100th appearance to score his first goal for the club, taking full advantage of Wickwar’s decision to give him a run out up front by notching the Fatboys fifth of the day. The strike moves him onto -6 in his Hassocks Fatboys career and, just for good measure, he put a penalty over the bar as well.
Congratulations to Sam on passing a century of appearances for the club and here’s to the next 100.