Physics Athletico 2-2 Hassocks Fatboys

Pre-season friendly
Sunday 4th August 2019
Walmer Road
 

A Sunday morning in Seaford with a 10.30am kick off for a pre-season friendly the day after Brighton Pride. You would think that getting 11 players down there would be quite an achievement, but much to the surprise of almost everyone, Hassocks Fatboys managed to get a mixture of 19 (NINETEEN) first and reserve teamers travelling to Walmer Road to face Division One Champions and fellow Premier league new boys Physics Athletico.

Andy Brown was looking after the team in the absence of Scott McCarthy who was recovering from a well deserved day spent at Glorious Goodwood where he was attempting to double his money and try to get rich. Brown named two different teams for each half with only 22-year-old goalkeeper Nick Jones, Dan Turner and Jordan Walsh getting the full 90.

The first half lined up consisted of a back four of Sam Wilson, Jason Gander, Turner who was handed the armband and Nick Davie. Kevin Ticehurst, Jack Lewis and Charlie Tyzack made up the midfield three with a strike force of Rhyan Thwaites, Walsh and Chris Britton, meaning that Britton’s retirement had lasted all of four months.

Physics started off the stronger and although they were knocking the ball around well, they weren’t able to create too much of any note thanks to Turner’s marshalling of the back four. On the one occasion Physics did break through early on, the number nine with the wonderful name of Haribo couldn’t keep his shot down which meant the locals had the first ball of the day arriving on the drive way.

Funnily enough, it ended up in the same house which Bally actually managed to hit the doorbell of last September during the warm up for the first team’s league game. On that occasion, Stuart Young received the full wrath of an unimpressed local. Luckily there were no such problems for 22-year-old Jones as he collected the ball.

All the wrath this time came from the Physics sideline towards a referee they were clearly unimpressed by. He was giving many soft fouls the Fatboys’ way, particularly to Walsh who was apparently on the receiving end of plenty of pushes in the back. Every time that Physics conceded one of these cheap free kicks, you could sense the fear as Turner went forward to take them with his deliveries causing constant problems.

It was from one of these Turner free kicks that the Fatboys took the lead. Davie and Haribo went up for a header together with the referee once again deeming there to have been a push from a Physics player. Turner pinged in a peach of a cross which Walsh gobbled up with a lovely header for 1-0.

That galvanised the Fatboys into playing some pleasing football. Thwaites was looking a real threat down the right and Britton was rolling back the years to the days before his retirement (four months ago) by linking up well with Walsh.

Chances began to come with Wilson sending Thwaites on his way up the wing and Thwaites’ perfectly timed pass slipped in Walsh, who found himself with enough time to check the Ashes score on his phone even with the dodgy Seaford 4G signal. Sadly his shot blew wide of the post, much to everyone’s surprise.

Walsh then turned provider after being played in by the tireless Tyzack but the striker’s pass across goal somehow wasn’t met by Britton, who was understandably a little rusty given he’s been in retirement (for four months). With misses like that, it is little wonder Britton ended his career as first choice left back for the first team before deciding to chase his dream of becoming the next Mike Dean.

Physics started to get more into the game as the half wore on with their central midfielders trying their luck from range. It was almost as if Physics knew that the Fatboys were playing a 22-year-old goalkeeper with a reputation for being lobbed.

These however did nothing to trouble to Jones. In fact, it was Davie who was causing bigger issues when his simple back pass somehow resulted in Jones clearing the ball for a corner, perhaps in an attempt to get every penny out of his match fee by having something to do. You know how much financial struggle people under the age of 23 have these days.

Lewis was clearly frustrated with this messing around at the back and Walsh and Britton’s missed efforts at the other end as he began taking his anger out on Physics, making it his one man mission to try and kick every player. After nearly trying to end the number eight, the resulting free kick saw Turner extract a measure of revenge on behalf of Physics by scissor kicking both the ball and Lewis out the way. Thankfully, Lewis was not hurt and was able to see out the remainder of the half.

There wasn’t long left but in the short time there was, Physics managed to equalise. Their central midfielder again was allowed time and space and his fierce shot took a couple of deflections, falling right into the path of Haribo who couldn’t miss, smashing the ball past 22-year-old Jones for the equaliser.

As planned, there were eight changes at the interval. The back four for the second half became Jules Clay, Bruce Bignell, debutant Aidan Smyth and Charlie Wyre. Brown brought himself on in midfield alongside Ryan John and Turner who was moved out of defence. The front three became the veteran Simon O’Brien, Walsh and another new face in Gregg Chappell.

Like the first half, it was Physics who started the stronger and although they managed to break through a couple of times they found 22-year-old Jones in inspired form. He made two quality one-one-one saves and his kicking out towards Chappell on the right was proving to be a very useful outlet. Sadly, the same can’t be the said about his kicking to the left, where he was doing his best to fire the ball into Eastbourne.

Physics did eventually manage to beat Jones with a goal that was shrouded in confusion. The right winger played in Haribo and viewed from the touchline, his deadly strike appeared to hit the back of the net. Brown then collected the ball and dribbled it out of the area as if nothing had happened.

There were mixed opinions from both sets of players and the Fatboys bench as to whether the ball had gone in or not and second half linesman Ticehurst was helpfully none the wiser either. Eventually, the referee made his first decision of the day that was popular with the Physics ranks by awarding a goal.

Falling 2-1 behind was the wake up call the Fatboys needed and they began to knock the ball around with much more purpose. Chappell and O’Brien were doing their best to fashion chances for Walsh but the Physics defence know all about the threat he poses and were doing a good job of marking him out of the game.

John then played what looked like it could have been the pass of the game, only for him to realise his cross field ball was heading straight to Kev who was of course running the line. This caused Ryan’s first rage moment with a lot of swearing but thankfully, no chairs being thrown at children as happened when these two sides met at Clayton Rec back in January. Minutes later and John played another lovely ball which this time went to Walsh rather than the linesman but the striker was stopped in his track by a perfectly timed tackle by the Physics defender.

Strangely, the referee deemed this a foul and awarded a free kick. Even more strangely, Walsh led the protests for Physics that it wasn’t a foul but the referee wasn’t listening, even though both the perpetrator and the victim were telling him he was wrong.

From the resulting free kick, Turner sent in another lovely delivery which Walsh headed home after challenging the Physics goalkeeper. The hosts were adamant that Walsh had fouled their number one but with Walsh running off celebrating this time rather than joining in the protests, the goal stood.

Now back level, the Fatboys took control of the game. John was at the heart of everything good, sending a splendid pass to O’Brien whose cross Walsh basted wide, leading to another visit to the garden of the disgruntled locals who were now watching proceedings from behind their net curtains.

They nearly got to see Physics steal it at the death. A cross from the right hand side travelled all the way across goal where the left winger met it with a thumping volley, forcing 22-year-old Jones into an outstanding save. O’Brien of all people was the man who had tracked back to hack the loose ball clear, the first time he has been seen defending in the Fatboys box since 2014.

That meant it finished 2-2, an excellent result given the number of reserve team players playing. It should also help to banish the horrid memories of last year, when former manager Jamie Stratton thought it would be a good idea to have a “challenging” friendly for the reserves against a side from three divisions above.

That day ended in a 5-0 defeat, with chairman Mark Potter saying afterwards, “Well we lost 5-0. But in truth it could have been 20. Jones had the game of his life and was man-of-the-match. And the cross bar was our second best player as it kept out another eight.” A much better experience in Seaford this time around.
 

Hassocks Fatboys (4-3-3)

Nick Jones
Made some excellent saves throughout and was a contender for man of the match. His short passing and goal kicks to the left where particularly impressive and clearly something the 22-year-old has been working on this summer.
Sam Wilson
He did very well against a very good winger who will be playing four divisions above him this season. Linked up well with Thwaites up the line although disappointingly, there were no own goal attempts.
Jason Gander
Made one heroic first half block. It was a good performance considering he lost all three games of PIG in the warm up.
Dan Turner
His organisation of the defence was the main reason it was so tight in the first half. In the second, he added a touch of class to midfield. Two superb assists to go with it.
Nick Davie
Just like Wilson, he did well against a dangerous winger. Played some lovely balls to Britton ahead of him and took just one foul throw all morning, and that somehow went unnoticed by the referee.
Kevin Ticehurst
Gave Walsh some great tactical advice which Jordan really appreciated and put to good use. He worked incredibly hard for the team, didn’t stray too far out of position and had the first of what will probably be many long range efforts this season.
Jack Lewis
If you ignore the one man mission to try and destroy the whole Physics team which Turner stopped in its tracks, he had a good morning. Extremely tidy in possession.
Charlie Tyzack
Provided a lot of flair moments in the middle of the park, but he also did the ugly part for the team with his defensive work as well. Looks a top signing.
Rhyan Thwaites
Put his pace and directness to good use down the right. He will be wondering for weeks how he didn’t get an assist after teeing up Walsh for the miss of the morning.
Jordan Walsh
Two excellent headers which went with two excellent misses. It was an interesting morning for the Fatboys’ marksman, especially when he started appealing for decisions to go against him.
Chris Britton
Considering he’d only finished work in the early hours of the morning after policing Pride and this was his first game since retiring (four months ago), he was bloody excellent. There were plenty of trademark noises too.
 

Subs

Jules Clay
The veteran full back is carrying on again this year, thank God. Used his experience well, especially when he abandoned what he should have been doing down the left to run over to the right and tell young Wyre what to do, allowing Physics a clear run of goal down the side Jules was meant to have been guarding.
Charlie Wyre
The 12-year-old impressed in pre-season last year and is back for more again. Wasn’t afraid to get stuck in and kept his passing simple. The sooner he becomes old enough to sign, the better.
Bruce Bignell
This was a lot of the of the first teams first time playing with Bruce and none of them could believe how quick he was. Did his normal role of organising the defence which was important with Turner moved forward. A man of the match candidate.
Aidan Smyth
The summer arrival from Middlesbrough (Davie, he’s from Oldham) looks like a real steal on a free transfer. Won every header and made some vital interceptions.
Ryan John
It was a tale of two halves of football in one half of football. His first 25 minutes was shades of that Pevensey game in which he had to sub himself off because he was so terrible. And then for the last 20 minutes he was the instigator of literally everything good that the Fatboys did.
Andy Brown
He’s still claiming to be injured, despite which the legend ran around like a loon for 45 minutes. His attempts to convince the referee that the ball hadn’t hit the back of the net by dribbling away with it somehow nearly worked.
Simon O’Brien
The veteran striker may be entering his last year with the club (just as he has been since 2015), but he showed no signs of his advancing years by putting himself up and down the line. Showed good understanding with players like Walsh and John despite them being half his age.
Gregg Chappell
Another debutant who was very impressive. He’s got an incredible amount of pace which stunned the travelling Fatboys fans and he used his strength well to hold the ball up.
 

Goals

24′ Walsh, assist Turner
73′ Walsh, assist Turner
 

Man of the Match

Dan Turner organised everything, claimed two assists and even looked like a playmaker in midfield. Oh, and he nearly broke Jack’s back, much to Physics’ delight. Honourable mentions to 22-year-old Nick Jones and Bruce Bignell who both pushed him close.