Hassocks Fatboys 5-5 BN Dons
(BN Dons win 5-4 on penalties)
Penalties have always been a cruel mistress to Hassocks Fatboys. Scoring an unchallenged shot from 12 yards has for a long time now proven to be too difficult a task for a whole host of players to have worn the green shirt through the years.
The latest failure saw the Fatboys exit the George Milyard Cup at the hands of BN Dons after an enthralling 90 minutes ended in a 5-5 draw. Not even Scott saving two penalties in the resulting shoot out could help us through as we missed three of our own to bow out of the competition at the second round stage.
In reality, the game should never have made it to the dreaded lottery anyway. We had more than enough opportunities to win outright with Stuart, Andy and Duck all squandering easy one-on-ones through a combination of poor finishing and inspired goalkeeping from the Dons number one.
If the Fatboys could finish, then we would be sat here looking forward to a trip to Physics Athletico in the quarter finals. Avoiding another trip to Seaford was the one positive about losing.
Other than those missed chances, it was a decent performance from the Fatboys. Dons went the whole of 2019-20 unbeaten and should probably be there or there abouts challenging Castle Sports for the Premier Division title if this season actually gets completed, so the fact that they were very fortunate to escape Clayton still in the competition was testament to how well we played – even after Willow, Turner and Miles all withdrew on the morning of the game.
All of Dons’ goals came from set pieces, which gave us a taste of what it must be like to play against Hassocks Fatboys. In our last outing against Queens Park pre-lockdown, we had beaten the Premier Division leaders 3-1 with three headed goals from corners and free kicks. This was very much a case of looking in the mirror.
Dons opened the scoring midway through the first half with a free header from a corner. It was not a great goal to concede if we are being honest. Minutes earlier, the exact same player had made the exact same near post run but the ball in had been a pinpoint delivery to the back post.
This time, the corner taker seemed to shank the set piece straight onto the head of the man stooping in at the near post and he produced a bloody impressive header, getting a lot of power on it from a very weird angle to place the ball perfectly between Scott and Matt Perry on the near post. Questions could certainly be asked about the marking.
The Fatboys have a pretty impressive history of recording abysmal results after a couple of weeks off. A five week gap from playing coupled with the ease of the Dons opener did not bode well, so it came as a something of a surprise that we were the better side after going 1-0 behind.
Stuart notched an equaliser before half time to finally get the monkey of his first goal of the season off his back. Duck claimed the assist, not bad for a man who had spent most of the morning being very sick. To get into such a Saturday night state sat at home with his pregnant girlfriend is one of the more impressive Fatboys performances of the season.
There were other first half chances. Jordan hit the bar with a header after leaping like the proverbial salmon from a set piece delivery and a combination of a poor finish from Stuart and a good save from the visiting goalkeeper saw a one-on-one fluffed.
Dons struggled to make much headway with Jordan and Mike excellent at centre back. Nothing was getting past Greg at right back and after a difficult start to the game, Matt P grew into proceedings as the half went on.
The message at half time was that a lot of joy could be had if the Fatboys could get in behind a Dons defence who were playing a questionably high line. Pinging balls over the channels for Matt Jasper and Duck to chase looked like the best route to goal and so it proved as we scored four times in the second half.
Dons unfortunately also managed four of their own in a ridiculous 45 minutes of football. They scored first after a corner was not cleared and a crisp volley was struck through a crowd of players and into the back of the net.
Duck teed up Andy to net a one-on-one which made it 2-2. Max Gill was enjoying a sensational full debut in midfield and he was next to assist Andy who made no mistake to put the Fatboys ahead for the first time.
3-2 very quickly became 3-3 with a wonderful own goal. A Dons long throw caused more confusion but the eventual shot looked to be well covered by Scott until Dave slid in from nowhere and somehow managed to loop it over his own goalkeeper and just under the crossbar.
Dave had only been on the pitch about five minutes at this point having replaced the injured Jordan. That saw Stuart drop in at centre back, meaning that he now only needs a game in goal to tick off playing every position this season. Remarkably, we have not had any major toys-from-pram moments. It never ceases to amaze what giving someone the captaincy can do.
Duck made it 4-3 with a neat one-on-one after Dave played him in over the top, making it an own goal and assist in 10 minutes on the pitch. When Mike then scrambled home from a corner after Alex returned a loose ball into the box, the Fatboys should have been safe at 5-3 up with 10 minutes to go.
What happened, you cry? Well, two hours earlier as we were warming up, Jack had said: “I can’t remember the last time we threw a game away in the last few moments.” This from the man who once proclaimed: “I didn’t get booked once last season”, only to then get booked five minutes into the opening game of the campaign. Perhaps it is best if Jack doesn’t say anything from now on?
Lady Fate had been tempted and she duly had the last laugh. Dons scored twice from long throws to take the game to dreaded penalties, although the players of both teams knew that the only reason it was being decided from 12 yards was because of the Fatboys’ woeful finishing , which continued into the shoot out.
Duck’s effort clipped the bar and was last seen flying over Ditchling. Stuart might as well have said “Hold my beer” to Duck as his penalty cleared the crossbar, the changing room, the South Downs and the English Channel.
Young Max was the unlucky chap who missed the decider, the Dons goalkeeper making a brilliant save to push it onto the post and win the tie for the visitors 5-4 on penalties. Max may have been crestfallen, but in reality you are not a proper Fatboy until you have missed a penalty.
Scott’s two excellent saves saw him push low efforts around the post. The Fatboys’ successful penalties came from Andy, Dave and Alex who all placed efforts into the top corner, Mike who went bottom left and Jack, who took a run up which was so long it may as well have begun in the car park of the Jack & Jill Pub. When Jack eventually reached the ball, he took the unusual approach of using a slide tackle to score.
Hassocks Fatboys (4-3-3)
Scott McCarthy
There was not much he could do about the five goals Dons scored. Not many goalkeepers save two penalties in a shoot out and still end up on the losing side.
Gregg Chappell
Another impressive showing at right back. Looked relieved that he had not been called upon for the shoot out, saying: “I’m a 31 year old man who was more terrified about taking a penalty than anything else in my life.”
Mike McDonald
Pushed young Max close to being the Fatboys’ best player. Did not give Dons a sniff from open play and claimed his first goal for the club up the other end with a poacher’s finish.
Jordan Walsh
Knew what was coming when he was handed the number six shirt before the game. Put in a real shift at centre back before his troublesome knee went and was unlucky not to score with a fine header which hit the bar.
Matt Perry
Endured a difficult start to the game but once he settled down he got through some very important defending at left back.
Jack Lewis
A morning that will forever be remembered for him becoming the first player to ever score a penalty by using a slide tackle.
Max Gill
To become a great Fatboy, you have to miss a penalty. He has done that in only his second appearance and based on what we saw in this full debut, he looks quite the find.
Andy Brown
Two goals push him closer to the 100 mark for the club. Confidently despatched his penalty too on a day in which he led by example.
Dave Keane
Turned up in a right state with his alcohol consumption from the previous night suggesting his phantom pregnancy is over. Did well once he sobered up, claiming two assists and a goal.
Stuart Brown
Started through the middle of the front three and that led to him scoring his first goal of the season. Ended the game at centre back without complaining which came as a real surprise.
Matt Jasper
Had the beating of his full back all game long and put in some testing crosses. Claimed that he did not know it went straight to penalties when questioned as to a convenient injury which saw him limp off with not long to go.
Subs
Dave Linehan
An own goal, an assist and a successful penalty conversion made for an interesting morning once he had been introduced early in the second half.
Alex Bates
His clever return of a loose corner into the box teed up Mike for the Fatboys’ fifth. Made no mistake with his penalty which was clinically placed into the top corner.
George Milyard Cup Second Round
Sunday 6th December 2020
Clayton Green
Goals
Stuart Brown (25′)
Assist Dave Keane
Andy Brown (60′)
Assist Dave Keane
Dave Keane (66′)
Assist Dave Linehan
Mike McDonald (73′)
Assist Alex Bates
Andy Brown (78′)
Assist Max Gill
Man-of-the-Match
Mike McDonald was excellent but it just goes to Max Gill who had a superb full debut in the middle of the park.