Hassocks Fatboys Reserves 5-0 Sussex Albion

Sussex Sunday League Division Four
Sunday 26th January 2020

 

Following last week’s postponed double header against Lewes Associates due to a frozen pitch, Hassocks Fatboys Reserves were keen to play some football as they arrived at fortress Clayton Rec for a Sussex Sunday League Division Four game against Sussex Albion. What was even more pleasing then the game being on was that the grass had been recently cut as well, which was long overdue.

There were a number of notable absentees for Reece Wickwar’s men this week. Ando and Davie – or ‘Dando’ as they have been lovingly called – were spending a weekend away on the piss in Glasgow. Coincidentally, Des was also heading north of the border and in a wonderful twist of fate, he had the misfortune of sharing the same EasyJet flight as ‘Dando’. The group chat was informed by Des on Friday afternoon, “I have noise cancelling headphones on and I can still hear Davie from 10 rows back”.

The other unavailable regulars included Chairman Potter who was at his grandfather’s birthday party, Sam Harding was was busy walking his dog and Luke Vick who was a late withdrawal having picked up a knock the day before. Despite the number of players missing, such is the depth in quality in the reserve team this year that Wickwar was still able to name a strong side for what was our third meeting of the season with Albion.

Nick Jones, playing his last game before a trip to Australia for two weeks to validate his claim of being an Aussie national, was again between the sticks. Stuart Young took up his usual spot at left back, with Bruce and Ali resuming their partnership in the centre of defence. Following a string of good performances from the bench, the veteran Jules Clay was handed a well earned start at right back.

Reece picked himself in central midfield, and after making his Fatboys debut in the previous game, Shane Collins kept his starting spot in the middle where he was joined by his younger brother, Roo, who was playing his first game for the reserves since 2014. SOB and Gregg – who was looking slightly tired from celebrating his birthday the night before complete with propeller hat – took up the wide forward roles with El Bod looking to continue his good run of form as the lone striker. Kevin Ticehurst, Sam Wilson and Ross Joannides made up the bench.

Before the start of the game there was a special presentation for balding veteran forward SOB, who made his 100th Fatboys appearance in the previous game against Woodingdean Wanderers. In those 100 games, Simon has racked up 38 assists and 42 goals, which is quite astonishing for someone who is mainly known for missing open goals from two yards. Despite this, Simon remains a popular member of the Fatboys squad and fans will be hoping that there are many more games and goals to come.

Unusually, the Fatboys started well. They passed the ball around pleasing and dealt well with Albion’s attacks. Gregg was causing trouble every time he got the ball on the wing and the Albion defence were struggling to contain him, giving away a couple of free kicks as they struggled to get close enough to actually win the ball. Speaking of winning the ball, the Collins brothers were enjoying their battle with the Albion’s midfield three, putting their bodies on the line for the team.

This applied to Shane in particular, who needed a breather after one tussle with his opposing number. With the ball bouncing around Shane’s waist, the Albion midfielder had a choice of three balls to aim for and unfortunately for the older Collins brother, it was Shane’s left one which was connected with. Shane tried to carry on but the pain was too much and he was replaced by Ross to catch his breath and undergo a brief surgical procedure to remove his testicle from his stomach.

The first real chance of the game fell to Reece. A through ball ended up being a bit too heavy for the Gregg to get on the end of and the keeper came out of his area for what should have been a routine clearance the ball. Everyone on the pitch expected him to launch the ball away from goal except for the keeper himself, who had a very heavy touch which took him further out of the box.

Reece latched onto this and got to the ball first, taking it past the keeper who was now 30 yards out of his goal with no chance of recovery. Reece dribbled into the box and with an open goal and only one defender five yards away from him, he somehow managed to completely miss. Inspiring stuff from the player-manager.

Gregg was still causing all sorts of problems for the Albion defence, leaving them in sixes and sevens and it was one of his driving runs forward which caused the first major incident of the game. Chasing a long ball over the top, Gregg got goal side of the defender who, in a desperate attempt to stop a shot at goal, lunged in and brought Gregg down on the edge of the box.

There was no argument about the foul and the free-kick, but the punishment dished out to the Albion defender caused much debate. Red was the decision from the referee before a lengthy discussion got underway about whether this was correct. One Albion player announced, “I am a qualified referee and that is not a red card”. El Bod politely reminded him that the only opinion that mattered was that of the man wearing black today, who was also a qualified referee. The matchday official wasn’t changing his mind and for the second time in as many games, the Fatboys found themselves playing against 10 men with only 20 minutes on the clock.

Designated set piece taker Shane was still off the pitch assessing the damage inside his shorts, meaning that Ali was allowed to shoot from the resulting free kick. He narrowly curled the ball past the far post with the Albion goalkeeper nowhere to be seen.

Gregg was starting to enjoy the chaos he was causing now. Minutes after the red card, he again found himself chasing a ball into the box and again the only response Albion had was to haul him down. This time, a yellow card was deemed a worthy punishment but more crucially, the foul had taken place inside the box which gave El Bod the chance to put the Fatboys ahead from the penalty spot. There was no mistake from Bod as he rolled the ball down the middle of the goal with the keeper diving left. 1-0 to the Fatboys and no less than they deserved having been on top both before and after the red card.

There was a quick chance to double the advantage. After some wing play on the left from Reece, the ball was crossed towards the box. Taking a deflection on the way, it ball looped in the air which caught everyone other than SOB off-guard. The veteran forward had watched the flight of the ball perfectly and found himself with a free header only a couple of yards out.

Rather than just standing there and letting the ball hit him on the top of the head and into the goal, SOB inexplicably pirouetted 180-degrees to face away from the goal, before trying to flick the ball backwards. To be fair, he did succeed in this but rather than seeing the ball go into the net – which you have to somehow assume was the main plan – it went well over the bar. For the second time this season, SOB had missed a free header from inside the 6 yard box where it would be easier to score.

At this point, some credit should be paid to the Albion players. Despite being down to 10 men, they continued to attack and create chances which ensured that the Fatboys defence could not enjoy a relaxed Sunday morning. Albion had singled out elderly full-back Jules as the weak link in the Fatboys back four and ensured that they doubled up on him at every possible occasion. You don’t play football for 60 years however without gaining a fair amount of experience, and Jules was more than capable of dealing with anything that came down his side, helped by Gregg tracking back and Ali covering across to tidy up on the rare occasion that Albion did get past.

The best chance that the visitors had in the first half actually came from the Fatboys. Young attempted to clear the ball, it spun off his head and bounced towards his own goal, leaving Jones with no chance of stopping it. Much to the relief of Stu (and the despair of Sam Harding, who is currently the only contender for Own Goal of the Season) the ball spun onto the post, and rolled along the line into Jones’ grateful hands, moments before the onrushing forward could poke it over and claim a goal.

It wasn’t long before Gregg was again causing trouble on the right wing. Driving towards goal on the edge of the box, he was again brought down by another Albion defender. The referee paused for a moment to consider his options, before awarding another penalty to the home team.

There was again a mass debate over the location of the foul from the Albion players. The referee quickly and cleverly diffused the situation by informing the aggrieved players, “If I give that as a free-kick, I will have to show him a red card as well”. Unsurprisingly, the away side were happy to settle for a penalty. Again, El Bod stepped up and this time rolled the ball into the bottom left hand corner with the keeper unable to keep it out.
Half time arrived soon after the second goal, and the team talk from Reece was a simple one. “Just keep doing what you have been and we will win the game, but don’t let them get back into it”.

The Fatboys started the second half just as they had ended the first, pushing forward looking for goals. Fans of the boys in green did not have long to wait for the third of the game. A long throw from Reece on the right hand side picked out El Bod, who was lurking at the front post to beat two defenders and the keeper in the air, flicking the ball into the empty net to claim his and the Fatboys third of the game.

With that, Wickwar made some changes in personnel. Sam Wils replaced Jules at right back, Shane came back on in the centre of midfield in place with Gregg with Reece moving out to the right and having completed an excellent morning’s work in his first game since October, Roo made way for Kev.

That third goal had given the Fatboys some breathing space and they started to relax a little to control the play. On the odd occasion that Albion did get a sight of goal, they were restricted to long range shots which Jones easily dealt with, pulling off some good saves in the process. Suddenly, the realisation dawned that the reserves might actually be able to keep a rare clean sheet.

It was something that certainly appealed to Ali and he began insisting that as many players helped out defensively as possible. Bruce though had other ideas and he decided that this was the correct moment in the game to spend some time playing up front as opposed to staying in his designated position of centre back.

Whilst the defence battled hard for their clean sheet, the attack (plus Bruce) wanted more goals. Soon, they earned a free kick near to the corner flag which Shane whipped in low and and hard towards the back post. There was some debate about whether it was heading in before the defender’s attempts to clear resulted in the ball spooning off his shin and into the back of the net. Shane claimed the goal for himself although without video replays it remains inconclusive as to whether it was his. The main thing though was that the Fatboys were now 4-0 ahead with only 15 minutes remaining.

SOB returned to the action in place of hat-trick hero Bod and the veteran was soon adding a fifth and final goal to the scoreboard with a fine individual goal. Simon initially collected the ball inside the box, slightly to the left. Facing away from goal and with a defender on his back, he brilliantly held the opponent off before shoving him to the floor as he turned towards goal, firing the ball past the helpless keeper and into the back of the net from a very tight angle. This was a richly deserved goal for SOB, one that is well overdue and a just reward for the work that has been put in over recent weeks.

With nothing to lose, and time running out on the clock, Sussex Albion decided to throw everything they had into scoring a goal to at least give them something to celebrate for their mornings work. They were getting forward at every opportunity, with the majority of their chances coming from overloading the full backs and looking to put crosses in or dribbling into the box. The Fatboys back four proved more than capable of dealing with these threats though, and Jones also chipped in with a couple of smart saves late on to keep the clean sheet intact.

The final whistle brought cheers from everyone associated with the greens. Our performances this season have often deserved more than winning by the odd goal, and even though Sussex Albion played the majority of the game with 10 men, they posed a difficult threat to the Fatboys. This made it a particularly pleasing game to win comprehensively for a change.

There was really just one contender for Man-of-the-Match and that was Gregg. For the entire time he was on the pitch, no Albion player could do anything to stop him, other than by conceding penalties and free-kicks. Attention now turns to next week, where we will face a long and daunting trip to Division Four hotshots Heathfield and Horam.

 

Hassocks Fatboys Reserves (4-3-3)

Nick Jones
Will be pleased with his mornings work. Not a great deal of difficult stuff to deal with, but when called upon he was ready and did pull off some smart saves. Was no doubt happy to see Young’s header rebound off the post into his hands and not over the line.
Jules Clay
A fully deserved start for Jules who has impressed coming off the bench in recent weeks. Was targeted as the weak link in the back four by the opposition but proved them wrong with a solid performance.
Bruce Bignell
Asked to carry on where he left off in the Woodingdean game by partnering Ali in the centre of defence and he did the job perfectly. Happy to step out of the back line when the lone striker dropped deep and was there to tidy up when Albion overloaded on the left hand side.
Ali Jenkins
Solid performance at the heart of defence again. Marshalled and organised his teammates throughout the game, and helped Jules out on the right hand side as Albion looked to overload the wide areas.
Stuart Young
Not the best performance from the usually dependable left back, with only the luck of the bounce preventing him from scoring an own goal. He even passed the ball out of play on a couple of occasions, meaning that Mr 7/10 dropped to Mr 6/10. We’ll blame it on him having to play for the first team two weeks ago. He will certainly bounce back in the next game.
Shane Collins
The addition of Shane to the squad is looking to be a very astute signing by Wickwar. He was comfortable on the ball and looked to make things happen in attack, as well as being more than happy to get stuck in to the opposition.
Ryan Collins
A welcome return to the green of the Fatboys for first teamer Roo. Slotted in seamlessly with the reserves and linked up well with Shane and Reece. Was happy to help out on the right hand side as well, providing some cover for Gregg when Jules needed it.
Reece Wickwar
Another active morning for the player-manager as he started in central midfield before moving to the right wing and then out to the left hand side to see out the game. Created plenty of chances for the attacking players and claimed an assist for El Bod’s third goal from a long throw.
Gregg Chappell
For someone who was thrown out of Molly Malone’s just a few hours earlier, Gregg was unstoppable. Every time he got the ball there was panic on the faces of the Albion defence and this drew many free-kicks and penalties. Fully deserved Man-of-the-Match, even if he will be counting the bruises from this game for some time.
Chris Clayton
On any other day, El Bod would be a strong contender for Man-of-the-Match. He won everything that came to him and held the play up well, bringing his teammates into the game. Deserved hat-trick, which set hims up nicely for a pleasant eight hour drive to Hull that afternoon.
Simon O’Brien
Simon will be pleased to get himself on the score sheet on a morning where he received his belt for 100 appearances in a Fatboys shirt. Lots of running on the left wing at the start of the game and then replaced El Bod through the middle, from where he claimed his goal.

 

Subs

Ross Joannides
An earlier than anticipated introduction to the game after Shane took a boot to the left testicle. Ross had a superb game in the centre of midfield, shutting off any space that the Sussex Albion players were looking to exploit between the defence and midfield of the Fatboys.
Sam Wilson
It is pleasing for everyone connected to the Fatboys to see Sam Wilson fit and back playing, rather than just taking up a token ‘in case of emergencies’ place on the bench. Replaced the impressive Jules during the second half and carried on where the veteran had left off.
Kevin Ticehurst
Kev will be disappointed not to have scored for the second game running when he missed a good chance midway through the second half. Was his usual busy self after coming on, keen to get involved in everything, which is a great asset to have available to the manager.

 

Goals

C Clayton, assist Chappell
C Clayton, assist Chappell
C Clayton, assist Wickwar
S Collins, assist bloke who scored the own goal
O’Brien, assist Wickwar

 

Man-of-the-Match

Gregg Chappell