Fatboys go top (unadjusted) after Aymer win

What a difference a year makes. This time 358 days ago, Hassocks Fatboys sat bottom of the Sussex Sunday League Premier Division having conceded 15 goals in two matches. Now we are top of the (unadjusted) table after a 4-1 win away at AFC Aymer.

You may be thinking it’s foolish to make a song and dance about being top (unadjusted) after two games but we’re going to make the most of it as, let’s be honest, it isn’t going to last. In fact, given that we face second (unadjusted) place AFC 2015 this weekend, it will probably be over by 1pm when we are all tucking into our houmous in the Club.

Actually, a quick word on the post game food so far this season. If our start on the pitch has been fantastic, then its been even better off it, with the return of pizza and the addition of houmous to the post game food. For those of you yet to come back this season, you are missing out.

Anyway, let’s move on from Greek food and talk about Greek Gods or in this case, a Goddess. Eunomia was the Goddess of Stability and despite her significant mythical powers, she is probably as surprised as anyone at the stability the Fatboys have in defence. Last season 101 goals flew into the back of the net in 22 games. This season it is only two and the only way Aymer and their dangerous front line could get past the men in green was from the penalty spot.

That came from Adam Burton after a penalty awarded against Daniel Pidgeon midway through the second half. Pidgeon was apoplectic with rage at the decision, using all manner of Category A swear words just a matter of metres from a busy children’s park before nearly breaking his foot when booting the post. For anyone wondering whether his anger was justified, well, no it wasn’t as he basically caught the ball in the box or as it is known in these parts, did a Gander.

The Fatboys were 2-0 up by that point and last season would probably have conspired to lose the game once Aymer netted. This time around we reasserted control and scored another two to add some gloss to the scoreline.

Scott McCarthy, on his 100th appearance for the club, didn’t have a save to make in the first half as some solid defending from Pidgeon, Gander, Jon Ballantyne and Michael Russell kept Aymer at bay. Having a deceptive strong wind certainly helped although remarkably we resisted the temptation to go long, partly because Jordan Walsh was taking a leaf out of the Simon O’Brien Book of Being Offside Every Time You Are Played In.

The only goal of the opening 45 came about after some lovely passing football. Gander won possession in the back line and the ball swept through Sam Holman, Andy Brown and Joe Brockes with Brown receiving it back from the Goblin and rounding Tom Betts to score.

Ananda Hoque had a couple of strong runs down the right, Brockes got a chance stuck under his feet and then couldn’t quite steer the ball on a safe path through a crowd of players and there were two foul throws from qualified referee Chris Britton.

At the break, the Fatboys took full advantage of the new rolling subs system for this season to throw on Dan Jacques and Arni Kublickas for Brockes and Ballantyne. Given that over the last five years Bally gained the ability to play football from somewhere, it’s easy to forget he was originally signed as Club Linesman. It was a real treat to have him back with the flag and soon bamboozling the opposition with his use of long words rarely seen outside of Hansard every time somebody contested a decision.

If Bally being a linesman is one thing that is easy to forget, then the fact the Fatboys love an own goal is the polar opposite. Remarkably we were outdone here in terms of spectacular efforts past your own goalkeeper. Gander was causing chaos and confusion at the right end for once and it was his flick on that manoeuvred the ball to the back post.

Quite what was going through the Aymer players mind God only knows, but his attempted volleyed clearance went straight past the helpless Betts and into the back of the net. The spectating John Humphrey reckoned it was better than his famous own goal against AFC last season. Not quite, but it was close.

Hoque was hauled after that for debutant Kieran Poulton who used his pace well to add another threat going forward but it was at the other end were trouble was brewing, McCarthy making two smart stops low down before Burton’s spot kick halved the lead.

The two goal advantage was soon restored however thanks to a piece of magic from Brown. The Fatboys captain loves a long range goal nearly as much as he loves locking Hayley out of their new flat, but this was spectacular even by his high standards.

A hopeful long ball over the top had tempted Betts a long way from his line and he was forced into heading clear under pressure from Britton. It wasn’t a particularly good header clear, falling to Brown but Brown was still a good 40 yards from goal and out on the left. No matter, he bought the ball under, moved inside a touch and hit an effort that fell perfectly under the bar and in for 3-1.

Any hopes Aymer had of a comeback were gone with that and shortly after it was 4-1, Britton sweeping in a low cross from the left which Walsh turned goalwards with a back heel into the bottom corner.
That leaves Walsh needing 13 more goals until McCarthy gets a tattoo bearing his name, although the Fatboys number one tried to claim this one should be stricken from the records given it was clearly not intentional. This appeal fell on deaf ears.

There were chances to add to the scoreline late on, Brockes smashing the bar after he was reintroduced and Poulton being millimetres away from sliding in another fine Britton cross.

Aymer had the last chance but McCarthy came a long way to claim the corner and with that blew the final whistle. We are top of the (unadjusted) league, say we are top of the (unadjusted) league.