Hangover leave Fatboys hungover

Hassocks Fatboys Reserves lined up for their first game of pre-season, where they were set to start off with a tough test against Division Two outfit Bison Beer at Stanley Deason.

That was until a few days before the game, when Bison called the game off stating Pride as the reasoning. How their side will fare this season if they cannot deal with hangovers – ironic for a team with ‘Beer’ in the name – remains to be seen.

Thankfully, a new side to the league in the form of Hangover 96 were able to step into the breach. Manager Jamie Stratton is as meticulous in his planning as he is with his choice of trainers, so facing a side we knew nothing about sent Stratton into something of a spin as he began scouring Google, Facebook and Twitter to glean any sort of knowledge.

Ultimately, this proved to be a complete waste of time as on arrival at the new venue of Stanmer Park we discovered that this was basically Sussex Coast Reserves of last season, now disconnected from Coast’s first team and going it alone.

While Bison Beer couldn’t raise a side, Stratton had the opposite problem of a squad of 412 to pick from such has been the summer recruitment drive. This provided a selection headache to go with the routine headache picking up Simon O’Brien and listening to him moaning every morning must produce.

The Fatboys lined up in their normal 4-3-3. The Nick Clayton donned the gloves in the absence of wantaway stopper Nick Jones, who has not been seen since a training ground bust up with himself several weeks ago. The back four consisted of debutant Stuart Young, Jon Kelly, Mark Potter (yes, Potter was centre back) and first team right back Ananda Hoque.

Tom Pinnock, Pete West and newly crowned reserves captain Reece Wickwar made up the midfield three and the frontline was the grizzled veteran Chris Clayton accompanied by the fresh faces of two new signings, Jake Graham and Kieran Poulton.

Normally, the reserves will work on things in training and discuss what they need to do and then within 30 seconds of the first whistle, do the complete opposite. Remarkably, that wasn’t the case here and at times a game of football even broke out.

Sussex Coa…sorry, Hangover had most of the ball early on without doing much with it with the Fatboys content to sit back and hit on the break. There was even some pleasing football across the back line, Kelly carrying on where he left off last season with some strong challenges while Potter was doing remarkably well for someone who normally heads the ball as though they are one header away from an aneurism.

The Fatboys looked threatening going down the left via Graham, Wickwar and Pinnock but there was a lack of end product and that was eventually punished as Hangover went 1-0 ahead. The lead was shot lived however, a Pinnock free kick from distance being met by Hoque who headed the ball into the ground, from where it bounced into the top corner with Wickwar ridiculously trying to steal the young defenders first goal for the club from him.

The rust in the joints of the Fatboys armour was soon exploited as Hangover added three goals in quick succession before the break despite the best efforts of The Nick, who made two excellent saves; one with his feet and one at full extension from close range. Amongst this heroics, he also received a boot to the face that instantly bought back memories of Diaby on John Terry. Not that this effects a man like The Nick, who shook off a blow that could’ve killed a lesser man as if he were The Terminator.

The pick of those Hangover goals was a rocket into the top corner from no less than 25 yards. Unfortunately, your author cannot actually remember any of the others and makes so apologise for this. We reached half time then 4-1 behind.

Not much was said at half time, other than we had done relatively well all things considered, we were perhaps a bit too deep, we needed to be more clinical in front of goal and we needed to improve quality within their final ball. Not much to remember then.

Stratton rung the changes at half time. Glen Clayton returned to the green shirt for the first time in over a year, Tommy Tyler replaced West in the heart of the midfield, O’Brien took over up top in place of Bod and there were three changes to the back four – Bruce Bignell, the veteran Jules Clay and another debutant in the form of Kevin Ticehurst.

The Fatboys started the half much more effectively than they had finished the last and the biggest impact came from that scumbag O’Brien who seized upon the opportunity of playing in a more central role to net twice within 15 minutes of his introduction. O’Brien’s first was typical of the man as it was a great scuff after being teed up by Tyler with the second being a much more composed finish after great link up play between Glen and Pinnock.

Despite peeling it back to 4-3 and frustrating Hangover who were clearly getting frustrated as they claimed to be not fit enough to see the game out (ironically considering the 20 stone centre forward criticised Scott McCarthy for eating a ham sandwich while running the line), the opposition eventually buried the hatchet into the back of the Fatboys to run out 7-3 winners.