We’re just two weeks away from the start of the Sussex Sunday League season now and Hassocks Fatboys preparations are stepping up a gear as they face their toughest tests yet.
The first team will take on last seasons Division One runners up Preston Brewery Tap while the reserves make the journey to face Physics Athletico.
The Tap turned on the gas in their first ever season in the Sussex Sunday League last time out, finishing second in Division One to earn promotion to the top flight. They also lifted the Division One Invitational Cup to add silverware to the safety cabinet.
This will represent a good acid test for the Fatboys then against a side who set the gold standard in the division that the Green Army will compete in this season following relegation from the Premier Division.
It will be a weakened Fatboys squad who welcome the Tap to Ardingly, although Dan Jacques will begin his campaign to lose his traditional pregnant woman’s body in earnest. Notable absentees include Jake Philpott, who’s return to the club appears to be on the back Bunsen burner. He is (genuinely) moving house this weekend, a remarkable turn of events given he actually text “I’ve just found out I’m moving house today” at 3am on a Sunday morning as his excuse for not playing once in 2015.
Scott McCarthy returns in goal 10 days after nearly been decapitated and there is also the posibility that the Fatboys might actually have some centre backs this week with Jason Gander and Gary Whittington in the squad. 45-year-old John Humphrey is unavailable, presumably doing gardening or something that other 45-year-olds do.
For the reserves, they take on a Physics side that they have faced periodically in the past. The most recent meeting came in the Ron Pavey Bowl in March when Jamie Stratton’s side pushed their Division Two opponents all the way before succumbing to a 4-3 defeat. Reece Wickwar, Des Balderdash and Simon O’Brien were on target as Stratton’s anti-football 5-5-0 formation nearly actually worked.
There were two previous encounters the season before that in the league which were slightly less successful for the Fatboys. The first meeting ended 5-2 to Physics with O’Brien and Chris Britton netting and the second ended in a 5-0 defeat as Physics secured second spot in Division Three.
Stratton is without a whole host of players for this one, which does mean he doesn’t have a squad with six full backs for once. Captain Reece Wickwar is the most notable absentee, but the Fatboys will also be without Sam Wilson who is in Edinburgh for the Fringe, where his new show of “Sam Wilson’s Top 50 Own Goals”is receiving rave reviews, Kevin Ticehurst is at Silverstone, Jules Clay is moving house (maybe he’s moving in with Philpott?) and Ross Joannides and Tommy Tyler are also missing.
The first team game takes place at Ardingly College and kicks off at 10.30am while the reserves are at the Stanley Turner Ground in Lewes with a 10am start. That is actually the home of Lewes Rugby Club, which is very apt given the Fatboys style of football.
First team squad: Scott McCarthy, Rhyan Thwaites, Jon Ballantyne, Jason Gander, Gary Whittington, Rob Lloyd, Ananda Hoque, Dave Linehan, Dan Jacques, Jack Lewis, Andy Brown, Stuart Brown, Chris Britton, Jordan Walsh.
Reserves squad: Nick Jones, Sam Harding, Russell Jebbitt, Matt Freeman, Des Balderdash, Stuart Young, Nick Davie, Kane Wright, Mark Potter, Kenny Tinnion, Josh Evetts, Ando Knott, Chris Clayton, Simon O’Brien.